Mosque Foundation | Bridgeview, Illinoisadmmf, Author at Mosque Foundation

Anger Management: Three Insights from One Quranic Verse

Good and evil are never equal. Respond to evil with what is best, and your enemy will become like a close, devoted friend.
But this cannot be attained except by those who are patient and who are truly fortunate.

The first key to anger management is to identify your own anger warning signs.

Whenever poked by a whispering from the Devil, take refuge in Allah; indeed, it is He alone is the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing (Quran 41:34-36).

As this passage recommends meeting evil with good, it closes with an insight on how to deal with anger which could possibly be a barrier to achieving this great moral character trait. The flow of these verses indicates that taming our temper and disciplining our ego are ways to maintain better relations with others. How could this last verse help us with managing angry situations? Meditating on this verse, I found three insights that could help us control anger before it controls us.

The first insight comes from the initial clause “whenever poked by a whispering from the Devil …” Like any other emotion, anger is usually accompanied by physiological, biological and behavioral changes. In line with fact, the initial part of this verse alerts us to the first step in managing our anger. It instructs us to identify what irritates or “pokes” us—whether these provocations come from the devil or anyone influenced by the whisperings of the devil.

Anger specialists call these provocations “the anger warning signs.” According to them, each person has his own warning signs which usually fall under four categories: physical, emotional, behavioral and cognitive. (1) Physical signs refer to how your body responds. Examples of this type include racing heart rate, tightness in the chest, sharing, sweating, turning red in the face and feeling hot or flushed. (2) Emotional signs refer the feelings that accompany your anger. Examples include feeling disrespected, humiliated, guilty or jealous. (3) Behavioral signs refer to what you do when anger first rises. Examples of this category include clenched fists, yelling or slamming the door. (4) Cognitive signs refer to what you think about in response to the angry situation you. Examples here include having thoughts about revenge or aggression. Now, it is important to jot down your own warning signs. Once you are able to identify them, you can handle the angry situation rationally, rather than emotionally.

After identifying your anger warning signs, you have two options: turning your power to the Shaytan or turning back to Allah.

The second insight is represented by the Quranic instruction “take refuge in Allah”.How is this related to taming our anger? When we identify our warning signs, we face two choices: (1) Turing away our power to the devil and turning into a puppet that the devil, or those influenced by him, can move and control as they wish, (2) maintaining our power as we deeply breath with the calming prayer “I take refuge in Allah.” This statement is not a mumbling prayer but a mindful decision. In light of this Quranic guidance, the prophet recommended this statement to calm down inside. Imam al-Bukhari and Imam Muslim narrated, on the authority of Sulayman ibn Surad, that two men were abusing each other verbally. One of them was turning red in the face and his jugular veins swelled. Advising the angry person, the prophet (ﷺ) commented: “I know a word that, if this person says, his anger will go away. If he said: I take refuge in Allah from the devil (a’uth billahi mina al-shaytan al-rajeem) , his anger will go away.” Choosing to seek divine protection has many fruits. First, it guards us against losing our rational thinking. Second, it reminds us to relegate our affairs to Allah—especially when it is not fully clear who is right in an angry atmosphere. Third, it guards us against hostile aggressions as we remember that God’s power over us is ultimately greater than our power over others.

Interestingly, the verse, under discussion, is repeated later in a different surah. Once again this three-part insight depicts two choices for us after we identify our warning signs. Meditate on the following Quranic passage and notice the two different reactions to the satanic provocations:

Whenever poked by a whispering from the Devil, take refuge in Allah; indeed, He is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.

Those who are mindful of God think of Him when Satan whispers to them and immediately they can see

But the devils persistently lead their brethren [humans under the influence of the devil] deeper into wickedness, sparing no effort (Quran 7:200-202).

Avoid making any decisions during angry situations.

In this brief passage, we can identify two reactions to the satanic whisperings that breed more anger. The first reaction belongs to the righteous people who choose to retain their power by turning to Allah immediately. The sentence “they can see” indicates that those who ignore their warning signs and continue acting on their anger are blinded from seeing reality. This mental and spiritual blindness is highlighted in verse 202 which describes the second reaction to the whisperings of the devil. This verse indicates that when one fails to be connected with Allah, one would be an easy prey to more satanic and destructive thoughts.

The third insight comes from the closing divine attributes “He is the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing.” It is a clear reminder to avoid any type of aggression or crossing the limits as we remember that God will judge us: “He is the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing.” Al-Ghazali (d. 505/1111) advises anyone who has authority over others to avoid making any disciplinary decisions when angry. He gives two reasons for this advice. First, anger could make us cross the limits and pass unfair judgements. Second, these angry judgments may be a means of satisfying our ego, not purely honoring justice. He reports that Umar ibn ‘Abd al-Aziz, the great caliph, was once provoked by someone. Thinking about immediate disciplinary decision, Umar wisely said: “Were it not for causing me to become angry, I would have immediately disciplined you.”

Similarly, it is also wise to avoid writing a message or an email when angry. One has to wait until his anger goes away. One of the ways of feeling less stressed after an angry situation is to make wudu with cold water as a way of reducing stress and bringing the blood pressure down. Imam Ahmad and Abu Dawud reported, on the authority of ‘Urwah al-Sa’di, that the prophet said: “Anger is from Satan, and Satan is created from fire. As fire is extinguished by water, one is to make wudu when becoming angry.” Even though Imam al-Nawawi judges this hadith as weak, its content is true.

Wudu can help reduce your stress.

When one delays making decisions or composing messages until anger goes away, this practice will surely ensure proper thinking process and appropriate wording to communicate our messages. Abu ‘Awn al-Ansari reminds us: “Each harsh word has a substitute that communicates a softer tone but serves the same purpose!”

Essence of Prayer

In the Quran, Allah unequivocally says: “And [perfect] your prayer; indeed, prayer guards against immorality and evil” (Quran 29:45). This verse promises a moral, victorious life for those who perfect, not just say, their prayers. The pressing question now is how can I perfect my prayers?

Three main factors affect the level of perfection in our prayers:

(1) Feeling the presence of Allah

(2) Understanding the sayings of prayer

(3) Recognizing the rationale beyond the movements of prayer

Learning Humility in Practice

By placing our foreheads on the ground, we are reminded of the origin of our creation: dust. This position of sujud, or prostration, is sufficient for us to leave no room for arrogance or vanity. By placing our foreheads on the ground, we recognize the holiness and perfection of Allah. The natural response to this admission must be true humility. The more we realize Allah’s greatness and our human weakness, the more we are broken of pride and self-centeredness. Accordingly, sujud has a clear message for every Muslim: all people are equal in the sight of Allah, regardless of their color, race, or language. Interestingly, a Muslim preacher once said: “Look at your nose during your sujud, and you will learn true humbleness!”

Learning humility through sujud is more practical and effective than reading or listening to hundreds of lectures on the same topic. We practice humility five times a day when we pray, as a religious obligation, including the other prayers we offer as voluntary acts of worship. That is why practicing Muslims cannot be racist or arrogant; otherwise, their prayers will be a witness against them. However, a Muslim has at least five chances to nurture humility and achieve moral maturity and spiritual transformation fully.

Renewing Our Covenant of Obeying God

In sujud, we admit the supremacy of Allah and our complete submission to His Will. Hence sujud, as perceived by the great encyclopedist Muhammad Farid Wajdi, is “the maximum sign man could show to prove his obedience and servitude to the Creator of the Heavens and the Earth.” In other words, sujud represents an implicit commitment to obeying Allah and a powerful promise to stay away from the haram. So when we make sujud, we remember our sins and shortcomings and plead for renewing our covenant of obeying Allah. Accordingly, sujud is like saying: “Oh Allah, I am sorry for the sins I committed; so, forgive me.” That is why sujud is associated with crying when the Quran talks about how the righteous servants of Allah perform their sujud. Allah describes righteous people when they hear the Quran: “They fall down on their faces in tears” (Quran 19: 58).

Sujud is a means of ‘daily repentance’—something that protects against the Devil’s attempts to make us despair of Allah’s mercy or to dissuade us from maintaining the level of Ibadah we have, especially when our sins and mistakes trap us. Sujud helps weaken the hold of sin on us.

In a more detailed manner, practicing Muslims who always keep up their daily Salah and recognize the significance of sujud will never be defeated by Satan. If Muslims sin after Thuhr, they have an appointment with Allah at ‘Asr to wash away their sins and renew their covenant with their Lord. If the same person sins after ‘Asr, they will eliminate it at Maghrib and start over a new relationship with Allah. This renewal has the potential to happen five times a day. In other words, Allah gives us five main obligatory chances to start a brand new life, follow His Way, and avoid the paths of the Devil. Thus through Salah, and particularly sujud, you have the chance to wash away your past sins and embrace a new beginning every day.

In this way, Salah is considered the fountain of hope for everyone who tries sincerely to overcome Satan’s whisperings and nurture their spirituality. The late Sh. Muhammad Mutwalli Ash-Sha’rawi, one of Al-Azhar’s prominent scholars, once said—with some modifications and additions—: “Can you imagine that your car might break down if your mechanic checks it out five times a day? It probably will not because if the mechanic notices a problem, they will fix it immediately. By the same token, continues the Sheikh, Muslims present themselves five times a day to check the level of their Iman and character and cleanse the dirt of sins.”

Imam al-Bukhari and Imam Muslim reported, on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, that the Prophet ﷺ once asked his companions: “What do you think if one of you had a river running past his door and he bathed in it five times a day, would there be any trace of dirt left on him? They said: “No trace of dirt will remain on him.” Upon this, the Prophet ﷺ replied: “This is the case with the five daily prayers, through which Allah washes away our sins.”

Turning back to Allah through sujud makes the clear distinction between Muslims who keep their Salah and Muslims who abandon their Salah. In practice, a Muslim who may commit sins but observes prayer will not be considered as ‘insisting on committing sins’ since they frequently renew their covenant of obeying Allah. The Quran instructs us: “And perfect your Salah; indeed, Salah guards against immorality and evil” (Quran 29: 45). Of course, this verse applies to those who concentrate on and understand the purpose of their Salah movements and sayings.

In contrast, abandoning Salah, which has the protective sujud, will result in being easily trapped by the Devil and following our whims and desires. Reading the Quran carefully, we will find a close connection between abandoning prayers and following our lusts and desires. Allah says: “There came after them an evil generation that neglected their prayers and followed their whims; so, loss awaits them—except those who repent and have faith and do good deeds. Such will enter Heaven and will not be wronged at all” (Quran 19: 59-60). In his Tafseer, Imam al-Razi compares this verse to the one before. He said: “Neglecting Salah was mentioned in contrast with ‘fall on their faces and ‘following the whims’ was mentioned in contrast with ‘in tears’ because weeping indicates fear while following the whims indicates lack of fear.”

Attaining Closeness to God

Why does sujud make us closer to Allah? It seems that there are three main reasons. First, sin and pride usually move people away from Allah. We learned how sujud teaches us repentance and humility. That is why the more sujud you make, the closer you are to Allah. Second, sujud draws us near Allah because through it, we express our ultimate submission to Allah and declare our absolute humility. Third, in sujud, we express our need for Allah. You will always be closer to Allah when you feel weak and needy simply because you can easily recognize Allah’s sovereignty and greatness and your inability and weakness at moments of need and hard times. That is why the Prophet ﷺ taught us that there are types of people whom Allah answers their prayers:

The fasting person, who usually feels hungry and thirsty
The patient person, who usually feels feeble
The oppressed person, who usually finds hope in none but Allah
The traveler, who usually suffers from tiredness and fatigue

Not only is the supremacy of God acknowledged through the physical act of sujud but also a verbal act. In each sujud, we must say:

سبحان ربي الأعلى

Holy be my Lord, the Highest

Repeating this statement slowly and thoughtfully, with frequent periods of silence, allows the meaning to sink in and take hold.

Because sujud marks a moment of feeling very close to Allah, the Prophet ﷺ recommended frequent prayers or duas during sujud. The Prophet ﷺ said: “Nothing brings you closer to Allah than sujud; so, offer more duas.” Therefore do not make your sins a barrier to saying more duas. Sufyan-uth-Thawri said: “Do not let what you know of your sins impede you from saying duas since Allah answered the prayer of the Devil, the worst of all creations, when the latter said: “My Lord, grant me respite till the day when they will be raised. He [Allah] said: ‘You are granted respite till the appointed Day.”

Moreover, the Quran tells us that Allah answered the polytheists’ prayer; yet, they will have no rewards in the Hereafter. “And when they sail in a ship, they purely pray to Allah alone [to save them]. However, when He brings them safely to land, they quickly commit Shirk [ascribing partners with Allah]” (Quran 29: 65).

Here are some of the duas the Prophet ﷺ taught us to say during sujud:

اللهم اغفر لي ذنبي كله دقه وجله وأوله وآخره وعلانيته وسره

My Lord, forgive me all my sins: small and great, first and last, apparent and hidden.

اللهم لك سجدت ، وبك آمنت ، ولك أسلمت ، سجد وجهي للذي خلقه وصورة ، وشق سمعه وبصره ، تبارك الله أحسن الخالقين

My Lord, before You I prostrate, in You I believe, and to You, I submit. My face prostrated before the One Who created and fashioned it, made its hearing and sight. Blessed be Allah, the best of the creators.

Enjoying the Gift of Stopping

We need some moments every day to pause from the noisy world in which we live to embrace silence and devote time for prayers. Five times a day, we have this opportunity to refresh our inner thoughts and recharge our spirit to connect with Allah continuously. Understanding prayer in this way will help us eliminate the stress resulting from work, home, relations with others, and all the challenges and expectations we face daily. We are not only a body like a machine! We have a soul that needs spiritual nourishment. Salah, especially sujud, helps you make the balance between the requirements of the body and the soul. Your Salah is not a waste of time. It is the spiritual energy and the commitment to excellence you get five times a day to renew your mind, relax your brain, refresh your moral responsibilities, and thereby help you manage the pressures of life.

Trusting Allah in Hard Times

Since genuine sujud reflects our faith in Allah’s worthiness to be worshiped and trusted, Salah can be a suitable means for alleviating our pains, removing our worries, and developing our trust in Allah and His decrees. Salah was always a true refuge from all the trials and problems of our daily life for righteous people. When faced with the polytheists’ mockery and persecutions, Muhammad ﷺ was instructed in the Quran: “Nay, never obey them. Prostrate and get closer” (Quran 96: 19). In another position, the Quran comforts the Prophet ﷺ: “We do indeed know how thy heart is distressed at what they say. But celebrate the praises of thy Lord, and be of those who prostrate themselves in adoration” (Quran 15: 97). That is why whenever the Prophet ﷺ faced a difficult time, he would rush to prayer and say: “Give us comfort through prayer, Bilal.”

Harmony Between Muslims and the Universe

One of the most excellent teachings of the Islamic Faith is embodied in the word Islam itself, which means ‘submission’ and ‘peace.’ The Quran teaches that all righteous people and prophets were Muslims because they submitted their will to the One God: Allah. Moreover, the Quran teaches that the whole universe submits to Allah and follows His commands. In the Quran, countless verses talk about the universe’s submission and sujud. The Quran provides: “Have you not seen that before God prostrate whosoever is in the heavens and whosoever is on the earth, and the sun, and the moon, and the stars, and the hills, and the trees, and the beasts, and many of mankind….” (Quran 37: 18). Only humans have free will to obey Allah or disobey Him, bearing the consequence of their decisions. However, when humans submit to Allah, they form a universal sujud with the whole universe. True Muslims do not feel alone when they worship Allah, even if all people abandoned them; they share the universe of worshiping the true God.

Teasing the Devil

Sujud differentiates between the faithful and the Cursed Satan. When Allah asked him to make sujud for honoring Adam, the Devil refused out of arrogance. That is why Satan is cursed till the Day of Judgment. Consequently, when the believers accept Allah’s call to pray and prostrate, Satan stays away and starts weeping and says: “The son of Adam was ordered to make sujud, and he did; so, for him will be Heaven. However, I was ordered to prostrate, and I refused; so, for me will be hell.” Unfortunately, those who abandon their Salah follow Satan’s way and reject Allah’s command.

Raising our Level in Heaven and Removing our Sin on Earth

On the authority of Ma’dan ibn Abi Talhah, Imam Muslim reported that he said: “I asked Thawban to tell me of something divinely beneficial. Upon this, Thawban said: “I heard the Prophet ﷺ saying: ‘Whoever makes a Sajdah [prostration] for Allah, Allah will surely elevate their degree in Jannah one more level and wipes away one of their sins.'”

Moreover, Ibn Hibban reported on the authority of Abi-l-Muneeb, that ibn Umar saw a young man making his prayer long. So ibn Umar asked: “Who knows this man?” “I know him,” answered a man. Upon this ibn Umar said: “Were I to know him, I would tell him to make his ruku’ and sujud long, for I heard the Prophet ﷺ saying: “Whenever a man rises up for Salah, all his sins would be placed on his shoulders and, thereby, fall down whenever one kneels or prostrates.”

Gaining the Companionship of the Prophet ﷺ in Heaven

On the authority of Rabi’ah ibn Ka’b al-Aslami, Imam Muslim reported that the latter said: “I used to stay with the prophet ﷺ and bring him the water for Wudu’. Then the Prophet once asked me: “Make a wish!” “I wish I would be in your company in Heaven.” “Nothing else?” asked the Prophet ﷺ. “That is [all that I need].” Then the Prophet ﷺ said: “Assist me in that by your frequent sujud.”

Experiencing the Joy of Freedom

When you choose to be a servant of Allah, you decide to be free. Failure to make this essential choice will cause us to fall into the trap of being servants to many other objects; such as money (by seeking it without distinguishing between its legal and illegal ways), women (by following our lusts and desires immorally) and ourselves (by being selfish and self-centered). The Quran gave a parable to compare a person with many conflicting bosses and another with one pure boss. Of course, the first person with many conflicting bosses cannot please all of them. Such is the case with that who refused to be a servant of Allah. Such a person will lead a confusing, frustrating life as they fail to please many bosses or objects.

Understanding the spiritual values of sujud will significantly improve our prayer and kindle our hearts. Moreover, this new understanding of sujud can turn prayer from a burden into a tool that contributes to our spiritual growth and enlightenment. May Allah ﷻ give us the ability to know the true essence of prayer and appreciate this opportunity to gain closeness to Him and attain his satisfaction.

By Sh. Ahmed Arafat

The Ultimate Spiritual Journey

The image of millions of Muslim pilgrims performing Hajj is always an overwhelming sight humanity witnesses. Hajj is one of the best forms of worship and the most sublime of deeds because it is one of the pillars of Islam that Allah revealed to Muhammad ﷺ. Our religion is incomplete without it. It is a form of worship only acceptable when one devotes it to Allah alone, with a desire for victory in the Hereafter.

Hajj is the fifth pillar of Islam which every Muslim, who can afford it, must complete at least once in their lifetime. In the Quran, much is said about the Hajj (which means “setting out towards” a place, in this case, Mecca), and it is made obligatory in these verses: “Pilgrimage thereto is a duty men owe to God, – those who can afford the journey” (Quran 3:97).

“And proclaim the Pilgrimage among men: they will come to thee on foot and (mounted) on every kind of camel lean on account of journeys through deep and distant mountain highways” (Quran 22:27).

Ibn’ Abbas said, “When Allah commanded Prophet Ibraheem to proclaim Hajj among people, he said: ‘My Lord, how can I convey the message to the people as my voice cannot reach them?’ Allah said, ‘You call; it is Our duty to make it reach (everyone)!’ So, he stood in his position and said, ‘O, you people! Your Lord has chosen a House, so perform pilgrimage to it.’ It was said that the mountains became level, and his voice reached all parts of the earth, and all that is in the wombs and loins of men were made to hear the call, and everything that heard it responded. So those for whom Allah has decreed to perform Hajj till the Day of Judgment responded saying, ‘Labbayka Allahumma Labbayk (Here I am at your service, O Allah, here I am).'”

In Hadith, pilgrimage is also made incumbent on every Muslim. Ibn’ Abbas reported the Prophet of Allah ﷺ as saying: “Islam does not allow for failure to perform the Hajj” (Sunan Abu Dawud, Vol. 2, p.454). The Hajj can only be appropriately performed on the eighth, ninth, and tenth days of Thul-Hijjah, the last month of the Muslim year.

Hajj is a pillar of Islam in which Allah has combined all types of ‘Ibaadah (worship). Hajj comprises the testimony that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad ﷺ is His Messenger. Prayer, spending in the way of Allah; fasting (for those who cannot afford to pay for the sacrificial animal); enjoining good and forbidding evil, (characteristics of) patience, perseverance, mercy, and abstention from forbidden things.

Hajj is one of the greatest signs of Allah that has come with Muhammad ﷺ. In reality, no human power can gather pilgrims yearly from all parts of the world. Pilgrims with hearts full of yearning and love, experience difficulties yet rejoice at leaving their homes and families, feeling that the hours of performing Hajj are the greatest of their lives and spending generously for this purpose. Indeed, it is only Allah who can bring about such a situation. He says, “And proclaim to the people the Hajj (pilgrimage); they will come to you on foot and every lean camel; they will come from every distant past – That they may witness (i.e., attend) benefits for themselves and mention the Name of Allah on known (i.e., specific) days over what He has provided for them of (sacrificial) animals. So eat of them and feed the miserable and poor” (Quran 22: 27-28).

Hajj is like a short intensive course in which the basic teachings of Islam are presented to a worldwide gathering of Muslims. However, the instructions in this course are not given through lectures but through symbols and rituals.

During Hajj, every pilgrim learns the basic message of Islam:

A relationship with God is built through surrender to His will, prayer, and other ways of remembering Him (dhikr).
Love and brotherhood among people manifested in acts of sacrifice for the benefit of others.
Struggle is of two types: struggle to fulfill primary material and psychological needs of at least oneself and one’s family, and struggle against all forms of evil.

A Muslim who intends to perform Hajj must ensure, before departing:

Your family is provided for during the period you are away for Hajj.
Pay off your debt and seek forgiveness from fellow human beings you might have harmed in the past.
Be diligent in observing Salat (five daily prayers) and Sawm (fasting) in the month of Ramadan, as well as carrying out other religious obligations.
Shun all arrogance and exhibit a character of modesty and humbleness.
Do not use unlawfully acquired money or unlawful means to perform Hajj.
Seek sincere repentance from Allah of all past sins.
In short, one should depart for Hajj just like one would wish to depart from this world.

When setting out for Hajj, one of the first things we do is to shed all indications of our wealth and class distinction by wearing simple white garments called Ihram. The Ihram clothing aims to eradicate all worldly differences between humankind. It trains the pilgrims to consider themselves equal before Allah with only piety and good deeds as measures of our true wealth. The Ihram symbolizes simplicity, purity, and equality and signifies the pilgrim’s state of worship.

The pilgrimage to Mecca is an ultimate spiritual journey for Muslims. It is the most critical pilgrimage we will ever make, bringing us closer to Allah. Hajj is a spiritual and selfless exhibit of devotion that we are honored to make.

Sh. Jamal Said

What Medications are Allowed During Fasting?

There is confusion among patients and physicians about which medications can be used during fasting without breaking it. Even when consensus is reached among scholars, it takes a long time for Muslim physicians to learn about the rulings and inform their patients what they can and cannot use during their fast. To settle differences in point of view and standardize the choice of routes, a religious-medical symposium about “The Islamic view of certain contemporary medical issues” was held in Morocco in June 1997; one of the main topics discussed was the substances and actions that nullify fasting. The participants included distinguished Muslim jurists and religion experts, medical practitioners, pharmacologists, and specialists in other human sciences.

They agreed unanimously that the following administration routes do not nullify fasting:

Eye and ear drops
All substances absorbed into the body through the skin, such as creams, ointments, patches, and medicated plasters
Insertion into the vagina of pessaries, medical ovules, and vaginal washes
Injections through the skin, muscle, joints, or veins, except intravenous feeding
Oxygen and anesthetic gases
Nitroglycerin tablets placed under the tongue for the treatment of angina
Mouthwash, gargle, or oral spray, provided nothing is swallowed into the stomach

A majority of participants added:

Nose drops, nose sprays, and inhalers
Anal enemas
Surgeries requiring general anesthesia, if the patient decided to fast and there are no health risks as determined by qualified physicians

Patients with chronic illnesses, like Diabetes, Hypertension, Heart Diseases, Hypercholesteremia, COPD, and Asthma, may need to adjust their medication regimens, routes, and doses after consultation with a physician about the health consequences of fasting. A diabetic patient, for example, may need to cut the dose of his/her antihyperglycemic medications during fasting. A patient who is on three or four doses of oral medication may need to switch to longer-acting drugs during fasting, if possible.

Diet also should be modified for patients who require a special diet, like Diabetes, Chronic liver, and kidney diseases. A nutritionist or a physician may be consulted for the changes in diet and types of food recommended.

Patients with chronic diseases need to eat balanced meals, good fruits and vegetables, drink enough fluid, and avoid overeating. It is also equally important to eat the early predawn snack (sohor) and limit it to food rich in carbohydrates.

I pray you have a happy and healthy Ramadan.

by Dr. Zaher Sahloul

The Virtues of Fasting

“Fasting is for me, and I personally reward for it.”

Allah, the Most High, mentions in His Book that which translates to: “O you who have believed! Fasting has been prescribed upon you as it has upon those who preceded you that you may become righteous” (Quran 2:183).

This verse, which many of us have no doubt heard and read countless times, articulates to us just how beloved fasting is to Allah and how potent its effects. We’re promised that the observance of fasting, done in the right way, will make us pious and that a direct consequence of fasting is righteousness. Fasting is so dear to Allah that He has made it an obligation upon all nations before us due in part to its effectiveness in purifying the body, mind, and soul.

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ says regarding the dearness of fasting to Allah: “Allah said: ‘Every deed of the son of Adam is for him except fasting; it is for me and I shall reward for it…’” (Bukhari & Muslim). All of our deeds are for us except fasting, meaning that one could use any form of worship to make a show of piety to others. One might pray, for instance, for people to praise the devotion. One could give generously to be honored as generous and dutiful, etc. Yet, fasting is the only worship that is a strict and intimate secret between the servant and our Lord. One could very well claim to be fasting to attain praise, but if we fast in private when no one is watching but Allah, then it is only our belief in Allah that has compelled us to do so. It is a secret between Allah and His servant; no one else could be included. Hence Allah personally rewards for it. He will not commission anyone else to reward the individual for patience in fasting. Instead, just as we do this in private, Allah will honor this covenant and reward directly and personally, not including anyone else in the reward as we did not include anyone else in the worship.

These texts should awaken in us a newfound resolve, a sincere and unwavering effort to make the best of what’s to come of opportunity in the coming month of Ramadan. May this be an inspiration to make the best use of our time and worship in Ramadan and beyond. May Allah grant us the success and resolve we need to capitalize on these opportunities before running out of chances. We must make this one count; it mustn’t be like before, this time it must be unique, this time it must count, because this time might be the last.

By Sh. Ali Mashhour

Hijrah

Over time there lies great mystery and miracle. Allah ﷻ says, “Behold! In the creation of the heavens and the earth, and the alternation of night and day, there are indeed Signs for men of understanding,” (Quran 3:190). Oh, Allah make us among your servants who awaken themselves from the lull of infatuation of the worldly life and become witnesses to Your signs and miracles!

As this lunar year comes to a close it is sealed like an envelope never to be opened on our journey of no return until the Day of Judgment when you and I will all stand before our Lord to account for every year, every day, and every hour we spent on this Earth. Allah ﷻ says, “Oh you who believe, fear Allah, and every soul must consider what he (or she) has sent ahead for tomorrow. And fear Allah. Surely Allah is fully aware of what you do,” (Quran 59:18). This verse invites us to ask ourselves, ‘Who do I fear? Who’s pleasure do I seek? What has occupied me? What has overwhelmed my thoughts and feelings? What is it that motivates me to act? Is it a matter that will serve me in the next life? Or will it only serve me in this life? Or neither?’ Indeed, tomorrow will be a day filled with joy for those who prepared for it and grief and sorrow for those who have procrastinated.

This year, like every year we have witnessed, had its many bitter and few and fleeting sweet moments as is the nature of this life. Our Ummah suffered great tragedies and small victories. Many people were born and many have died. With the new Hijri year, we gain a new page in our life story, a blank canvas, ready to be filled with the blackness and whiteness of our deeds. Who will fill this year with major sins and persist in committing minor sins? Who will continue in their arrogance, envy, and slander? Who will be among those who humble and purify themselves by accounting for their deeds? Oh, Allah ﷻ make us among those who account for their souls before they are accounted for by You!

We enter the year with a choice endowed to us by our Creator millions of years ago when He created our father Adam and his wife Hawa; choosing to grasp firmly to the rope of guidance and adorn our books with good deeds or lose our grasp and soil our books with evil deeds. This choice was made hundreds of years ago on the momentous occasion from which we derive our calendar when the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and his righteous Companions migrated to Madinah, marking the beginning of a new era for the Muslim Ummah. On this occasion, we are reminded of the words of Prophet’s ﷺ uncle when he came to him to dissuade him from calling to Islam offering him worldly gains, “If you want money we will give you until you become the richest among us. If you want a position and fame we will make you our dignitary so that we will not do anything without consulting you. And if you are seeking to be a king we will make you our king.” The Prophet ﷺ responded to his uncle: “O uncle, I swear by Allah! If they were to put the sun in my right hand and the moon in my left hand to have me leave this call I will not stop preaching and spreading Islam until Allah reveals it or I die for it.” Peace and blessings upon you, oh Messenger of Allah ﷺ! The greatest caller to the truth! He ﷺ taught us to remain persistent in standing for truth, no matter the cost. Today, those who call to the truth are rare, and even those who do have little of the patience required to follow through. However, his companions followed in his example when they migrated to Madinah, leaving behind their families, wealth, lands, and homes seeking the pleasure of their Creator ﷻ.

Hasan al-Basri, a great Muslim scholar, once said, “Oh son of Adam, you are no more than several days, every time a day passes, so does a part of you.” Let us take great measures to ensure we take advantage of the guidance that Allah ﷻ has chosen to bestow upon us by planting good seeds so that our baskets will be full on the day of harvest.

To be among those who will reap the delectable fruits of their harvests, you must first begin with an evaluation of our fara’id, those acts of worship that are obligatory, from salat to zakat to siyam. Should you find a shortcoming in their performance, be hasty in rectifying it. Second, cease committing acts that we have been forbidden from, repent to Allah ﷻ and perform good deeds to wipe away the evil of these actions. Seek every opportunity to do good as outlined in the Sunnah of our beloved Messenger ﷺ, such as asking Allah to bestow mercy and forgiveness to the believing men and women, both those alive and those who have passed. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ promised we will receive a good deed for every believing person we prayed for as related by Obadah. Volunteer your money and time for the sake of Allah ﷻ, which is an easy way to adorn your time with good deeds and earn the pleasure and blessings of Allah ﷻ.

Third, evaluate your words and actions with a keen eye, the eye of a blameful soul. Each night evaluate the actions of the morning and in the morning, evaluate the actions of the night. Aside from developing a habit of evaluating your time, do your best to recite daily from the Quran. Start with the recitation of a few verses a day, so that you do not overwhelm yourself and give up too quickly. Every month or so you can increase the number of verses to ensure you are consistent in performing good deeds which are most pleasing to Allah ﷻ. Keep yourself among those people who value time and encourage you to do good by remaining connected to the Masjid. Be wary of timewasters; both people and actions! Be resolute in attending every Friday prayer, jama’ah prayer, and attending a weekly circle of remembrance and reminder.

Finally, become a person of dhikr by grasping every opportunity to remember Allah ﷻ and send peace and blessings upon His Messenger ﷺ. Ask Allah ﷻ for forgiveness persistently during the day and night for those things that you do know you did and those that you do not. Those who ask for forgiveness are those who fear Hellfire the most. Keep track of every opportunity to gain expiation of sins such as fasting the days of Tasooa’a and Ashura’, the 9th and 10th of Muharram.

Let’s take advantage of every heartbeat and every breath in this worldly life to earn a home in the next life, the final destination. Let us be among those whose hard work paid off reclining on the beds of al-Jannah surrounded by what no eye of man has witnessed, no ear has heard, and no mind could have imagined. Oh, Allah! Make our last deeds our best deeds and the conclusion of all our deeds good and the best of our days the Day we shall meet You! Allahuma Ameen.

Sh. Jamal M. Said

Back to School

Beginnings are times filled with promise and possibility. As summer melts into the fall, our families arrange for the beginning of the school year. Students prepare to move to higher grade levels, schools, and new stages of life during this transitional time. Parents offer what support they can in the form of encouragement, advice, and Duaa. It is essential to take advantage of this new beginning, so the academic year is as productive as possible.

Islam has a long tradition of supporting education and the pursuit of knowledge. This tradition dates back to the very first words of this great religion when Allah ﷻ revealed the expression ‘Iqraa’ (Read) to Prophet Muhammed ﷺ. This powerful word signaled the opening of communication between the Heavens and the Earth. To read is not just to gloss overprinted words, but it is to understand and question. Reading involves reflection and tenacity to test ideas and push them to their limits, accept what is sound and abandon what is built on weak foundations. Allah’s ﷻ call to read was a call to question the beliefs that the people of Makkah inherited with no thought. He ﷻ calls repeatedly in the Quran on those who read, observe, think, and question as to the best of people. It is these people who can inhabit faithfully. The return to school is a return to sharpening the mind and training the intellect that is a religious obligation for each of us.

As Americans, we also have a responsibility to be educated citizens. This democracy is built on the populace’s ability to decide which representatives to elect. To make informed decisions, we must work hard at school and supplement schooling with surveying current events. We as Muslim Americans need to be well educated to join the national dialogue on topics that are important to us as a minority community and as one with global roots.

I would advise our students to go back to school with a clean slate. Do not return with negative thoughts regarding subjects or people. Be diligent in your studies and keep close to your faith, and Insha’Allah, you will find success. This success will not only be an achievement for you but your family and community as well. It will also be an asset to the Muslim Ummah at large, Insha’Allah. I advise parents to be involved in their children’s education and always be available for their kids, even if it is to listen to their frustrations.

May Allah ﷻ bless our students and educators and make this year a profitable one for them all.

Sh. Jamal Said

Marriage

As Muslims, it is incumbent upon us to make every effort to meet life transitions with careful consideration and preparation. We rely first and foremost on Allah ﷻ and the guidance He has provided us in His Book and secondly, upon the Sunnah of our beloved Messenger, Muhammad ﷺ. In light of what seems to be a jam-packed summer wedding season, I would like to take this opportunity to advise new Muslim couples and their families. This advice is based on nearly four decades of counseling Muslim couples.

Many couples are consumed with tedious wedding preparations and spend very little time and care to receive training and education necessary for what comes after the wedding, despite our calls to attend counseling offered by our Masjid. Many couples enter marriage carrying false assumptions and expectations that bring them back to my office months and sometimes weeks following the wedding. Unfortunately, the conflicts they have experienced by that time have caused so much damage to the undeveloped relationship that counseling becomes difficult, and rebuilding trust requires work that they are often unwilling to do. For this reason, it is vital for each individual who is considering marriage or is currently married to recognize that marriage requires hard work, just like other life transitions. If a person rushed into starting a new business or buying a new car or house without any thought or preparation, most people would consider that person impulsive and careless. Isn’t marriage a decision requiring more planning and preparation than starting a business venture or making a large purchase?

Consider this verse from Surat Ar-Rum, which is placed on many wedding invitations yet often overlooked, “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought” (Quran 30:21).

Indeed, marriage is a ni’mah from the many provisions that Allah ﷻ has generously bestowed upon the children of Adam. It is important to note that Allah ﷻ makes mention of a specific group of people at the end of the verse, ‘those people who give thought.’

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, marriage requires thought, reflection, self-awareness, and learning. Though many pages can be written about this topic, I selected a few practical points based on my experience in counseling newlyweds:

Autonomy. Both newlyweds and their families and friends need to recognize that they are an independent unit. It is normal and healthy for loyalties from past relationships to shift into the new relationship, making the new partnership the most valuable for each new husband and wife. Traditions and routines will have to accommodate these recent changes. Many couples complain about not attending a yearly family Eid breakfast or traveling out of state to participate in every cousin’s graduation or see their friends every Friday night, which they always did when they were single. It is simply not practical and unfair to the new marriage for things to remain as they were. Spouses should be selective when choosing what is most important, and each must compromise by giving up some things. Families and friends should respect the decisions made by the couple and not exert pressure on them to maintain traditions and routines. With that said, couples should not cut themselves off from the world. On the contrary, I suggest that they make changes to schedule regular family visits, especially to both sets of parents, and maintain their ties with righteous and supportive friends. Some family or friends of either bride or groom might be the source of problems in the marriage, so it is important to be aware of this while maintaining rights. Similarly, couples should schedule weekly outings just for the two of them to spend time together.
Communication. Communicating with one’s spouse is not the same as simply talking or hearing. It requires giving and receiving the meaning of words, feelings, and actions with empathy, respect, and consideration. If your wife shares she feels depressed at the beginning of the marriage because she misses her family, support her. If your husband feels guilty about not being able to fulfill his parents’ wants as he once did, support him. If something is on your mind, or your spouse’s particular word or action upset you, communicate it openly and honestly. If your spouse is telling you something you do bothers them, be willing to hear them out without judgment or comparisons. Instead, sincerely apologize for hurting them intentionally or unintentionally and make efforts to change.
Conflict. Conflict is a necessary and expected part of any real relationship. What is most important is that we learn to resolve conflicts in healthy ways without harboring resentment. As Muslims, we adhere to the Quran and Sunnah in times of bliss and times of hardship. When a conflict arises, we turn to our faith to help us make a decision. Some couples struggle with differentiating tradition and culture from Islam and have many assumptions and expectations about the rights of the husband or wife that are simply false and entirely opposed to Islamic teachings. Therefore, couples should seek the advice of an Islamic scholar on these critical issues. I also advise couples not to involve their families in marital conflicts since they are biased and often too emotionally invested to make a sound decision. Our Masjid provides these services at no cost. Do not wait to seek counsel. Seeking counseling does not mean you are seeking a divorce. On the contrary, it means you are struggling and need assistance. An essential aspect of resolving conflict is practicing patience, a rare quality in our fast-paced society. Couples must remember there is no such thing as a perfectly matched partner; there will always be things that each spouse must change and a few things that they cannot change. As long as it is within the limits of Islamic boundaries, we must learn to have the patience to support them to change what they can, live with what they cannot change, and find ways to appreciate the good qualities they have.
Intimacy. Allah ﷻ highlights affection to be one of the main qualities arising from the union of husband and wife. This encompasses all forms of intimacy: physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual. Each spouse shares responsibility in achieving these forms of intimacy with their partner. I will highlight spiritual intimacy since it is often the most neglected yet essential task for couples to focus on and serves as a protective factor in their relationship. This includes reminding each other of the performance of daily prayers, reciting and memorizing Quran together, abandoning bad habits, attending a weekly program at the Masjid, fasting and giving sadaqa together, volunteering, and supporting one another to abide by Islamic rulings, including obtaining halal forms of provision, practicing lowering of the gaze and wearing hijab, and the many different ways of becoming closer to Allah ﷻ and gaining His mercy and pleasure.

These are but a few suggestions for newlyweds. There is so much that can be learned, so it is essential to stay connected to your Masjid and at least a weekly program to support you in having a healthy marriage.

May Allah ﷻ place His barakah in all marriages, and may He unite them to do good for this deen and the community.

By Sh. Jamal Said

The Most Comprehensive Verse in the Quran

Let us take this opportunity to reflect on a single verse from the Book of Allah. Allah ﷻ states in Surat An-Nahl, “Indeed, Allah orders justice and kindness and giving to relatives and forbids shameful acts and evil deeds and transgression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded” (Quran 16:90).

Ibn Masood (R) describes this verse as the most comprehensive in the Quran. The entire range of Islamic teachings is condensed within this verse. For this reason, it was the practice of the Companions (R) to recite this verse at the end of every Friday Khutba.

Walid Ibn al-Mugheira (R) says of the verse, “By Allah, there is a special sweetness in it. Above it, there is a unique light; leaves sprout from its roots, and it bears fruits on its branches. These cannot be the words of a human being.”

In this tremendous yet concise verse, Allah offers us three commandments and forbids us of three things. He ﷻ commands us to do justice, be moral, and maintain the bonds of kinship, and He forbids us from shameful acts, evil deeds, and transgression.

The Quran was revealed to all of humankind, offering a complete social order. It commands principles that protect and regulate the community. For this to happen, justice, which is the first order in this verse, must be established. This means placing things in their rightful place and giving others equal treatment. Justice must be the consistent factor in all transactions and interactions between individuals and communities regardless of strength, wealth, race, or gender.

We must be just in all of our matters and all of our relationships. As believers, we are just in our relationship with Allah ﷻ, grateful for all of His favors upon us by worshiping and obeying Him. We must be just to our parents by obeying them when we are young and showing them compassion and mercy in their old age. We must be just to our husbands and wives, fulfilling their rights upon us, and just to our children in providing for them and parenting them. We must be just in our workplace dealings, using the highest standards of professionalism and ethics. We must practice justice in the way we spend our time, wealth, and strength. Justice must infiltrate all our decisions and actions.

The second commandment in this great verse is al-Ihsan, perfecting our works, or treating others with kindness. Therefore, justice is the foundation of our actions, and kindness should naturally follow justice’s implementation. Imam al-Qurtubi explains that Ihsan in this verse refers to all types of Ihsan in morals and deeds. In adhering to Ihsan, the believer constantly self-assesses and reflects on his or her decisions and actions, striving for perfection. Ihsan, in acts of worship, is manifested through God-consciousness. Ihsan toward other humans and creation is defined by treating Allah’s creatures with the utmost kindness. Kindness is what strengthens a community and builds bridges within society.

The third commandment orders us to give relatives their due. This is a continuation of enjoining kindness with an emphasis on relatives. Unfortunately, humans take their ties of kinship lightly, and often their enemies are family members. Allah ﷻ specifically mentions relatives in this comprehensive verse, highlighting the importance of rectifying our relationships with our family, immediate and extended. This is a reminder to those who are Islamically obligated to protect and provide for their close or extended relatives, especially widows and orphans

Also, in this verse, Allah ﷻ forbids shameful acts. These are any acts that oppose the human’s natural tendency to be fair and pure. These are acts that a person should naturally feel guilty about or fear that people might notice. Shameful acts can involve all human faculties, whether the heart, tongue, eyes, ears, or limbs. A believer must practice modesty, which is the defining quality of faith, by abandoning all shameful acts.

Allah ﷻ also forbids evil deeds, which are all sins, whether done in private or in public. Aside from our innate ability to distinguish shameful acts from pure acts, Allah ﷻ provides us with revelations that offer us regulations and rules to follow. What is halal is clear and what is haram is clear.

Finally, Allah ﷻ forbids transgression in the verse, referring to crossing limits set by Allah ﷻ. This transgression leads to evil and chaos in society. Therefore, Allah ﷻ prohibits it to protect humanity.

Allah ﷻ, “admonishes us so that we might be reminded,” as He ﷻ ends the verse. In this single verse, Allah ﷻ reminds us of our innate nature to gravitate toward justice and kindness and to abhor shamelessness and transgression. But only those with conscious minds and sound hearts will truly heed His reminder. May Allah ﷻ make us among those who hear the truth and live according to i

By Sheikh Jamal Said

Let Summer Count For You, Not Against You

Every year, a discussion arises among families, friends, neighbors, and the community about the different ways to spend summer break. We need to engage in these discussions and plan so that summertime can be a time for both relaxation and productivity. It is also essential for us to include worship in our plans.

Islam encourages relaxation within defined limits. It was narrated that a companion of the Prophet ﷺ, Handhalah Ibn ‘Aamir (R), came to the Prophet ﷺ complaining that the strength and level of his faith decreased when he returned home and played with his children as opposed to the time when he was with the Prophet ﷺ. The Prophet ﷺ replied to this by saying, “A time for this and a time for that” (Bukhari).

As Muslims, we must strive to find a balance between hard work and relaxation. How do we utilize our time during the summer and maintain our priorities? We must keep in the forefront of our minds that we will be questioned about how we divided our time on a Day that the pages of our every deed will be spread before us. As Prophet Muhammad ﷺ reminded us, “The two feet of the son of Adam will not move from near his Lord on the Day of Judgment until he is asked about five (matters): (one of them being) his life and how he spent it…” (Tirmidhi).

The first way to ensure our summers are pleasing to our Creator ﷻ and fulfilling for us is befriending the Book of Allah. Reviewing what one has already memorized from the Quran should take precedence over any summer reading. Choosing a Surah or Juzu’ to memorize with a spouse, sibling, or friend can be a motivating way to include the Quran in one’s summer. One could also join a Tajweed or Tafsir class or hire a tutor if that is feasible. Parents often focus on their children’s memorizing while forgetting that memorizing from the Quran is not specific to an age group. In fact, their own memorizing of the Quran will encourage their children. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was narrated to have said, “The best among you are those who learn the Quran and teach it” (Bukhari).

Muslims should also take advantage of the summer to spend time with their families. This is a perfect time to engage your spouses and children in discussions about their faith, interests, and life goals. The best way to love your family is to spend time with them, and Prophet Muhammad ﷺ modeled this the best. Although it is necessary to visit relatives and kin, time should be spent mainly with your core family unit, giving them the attention and care you will be held accountable for by Allah ﷻ as a parent. If you are a young person, you should also value time spent with your parents and siblings. The best way to obey your parents is to spend time with them and show them compassion. There is much you can learn from the experiences of your parents, and you can also serve as a role model for younger siblings.

Summer is also a great time to strengthen a wide range of skills and hobbies. This might include registering for a summer course to learn a new language, volunteering in a nonprofit organization, or becoming more adept at a computer program, especially for parents. There are also classes and workshops available for developing hobbies such as gardening or calligraphy. Our community makes many options available for those who seek to gain life skills or professional development.

These are but a few of the many ways we can take advantage of our summers. It is equally crucial for us to avoid actions that might spoil our efforts or be displeasing to Allah ﷻ. These include traveling to a place visited by people who typically engage in Haram, such as drinking, gambling, or indecency, even if one does not intend to commit any of these sins. If the place you are traveling to is known for these acts, it is not permissible to visit it. Traveling with your family to Umrah or places where one can ponder over the beauty of Allah’s creation or historical sites can be a truly fulfilling experience.

Summertime is also a time for many graduations, weddings, and other celebrations. May Allah ﷻ bless these occasions and increase them. It is important to note that, unfortunately, many of these celebrations in our community often include actions displeasing to Allah ﷻ such as indecent mixing between genders, lack of adherence to Hijab and rules of modesty, and music filled with inappropriate language.

As tempting as it may be, it is also essential that we avoid staying up late and sleeping in until late afternoon because this is discouraged by the Prophet ﷺ. Of course, it becomes entirely Haram, prohibited to do so if one is committing sins during the night such as watching inappropriate movies or TV shows, playing cards, smoking, etc.

Brothers and sisters, each passing minute will count for us or against us. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “There are two blessings which many people lose: (They are) health and free time for doing good” (Bukhari).

Oh Allah, make us amongst those who take advantage of our health and free time in pleasing You.

What is Your Legacy?

The Islamic tradition promotes excellence and high achievements. Allah ﷻ states, “Race toward forgiveness from your Lord and a Garden whose width is like the width of the heavens and earth, prepared for those who believed in Allah and His messengers…” (Quran 57:21). Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was reported to have said, “When you ask Allah for Jannah, do not just ask for Jannah, ask for Jannat al-Firdaws. It is the best of Jannah, the highest of Jannah, the middle of Jannah, and under the Throne of Allah” (Muslim). Therefore as Muslims, we should not settle for less and instead develop sincere intentions to achieve excellence in this life and the next. If we aim for Jannat al-Firdaws and fail, at least we will be in Jannah.

The righteous companions would compete with each other in performing good deeds. They monitored each other to see who would perform more ‘ibadah, who would give more sadaqa, and who would adhere most to the Sunnah. Their culture was that of perfecting العمل الصالح, or good works. They were not interested in external appearances and positions. Their goals were so incredibly noble and intentions sincere that Allah ﷻ elevated their names and life stories, placed their love in the hearts and minds of generations of Muslims who followed them, and blessed their good works so that they left imprints on the far ends of the earth.

Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was reported to have said, “Be greedy for that which will benefit you” (Muslim). A Muslim should feel a sense of urgency in doing works that will benefit this life and the next. This requires having a vision and plan and striving to perform good works. Because when it comes down to it, nothing else matters. Therefore, we need to have an honest conversation with ourselves about the legacy we will leave behind and what we will accomplish in this life which Allah ﷻ has bestowed upon us and that He will inevitably take from us without any warning.

To do this, we should keep several points in mind. The first is to internalize what it means to be a Muslim and what practicing Islam looks like. This requires closely studying Islamic knowledge and engrossing ourselves in the company of those who are competing to perform good works. If you find yourself in the company of people who are discouraging your seeking of Islamic knowledge or practice, then it is time to move on from them. Ibn Abbas would wait patiently outside the great Sahabah’s doors as a child until they came out to spend moments with them. And because he honored Islamic knowledge and the people of knowledge, Allah ﷻ granted him honor amongst people.

The second matter to constantly remember is death. This does not mean having an obsession with death, but using death as a motivation to make use of our time in this life. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ commanded us, “Think frequently of that which destroys all pleasures (death).” He ﷺ is encouraging us to ask ourselves, ‘What have I accomplished so far? What am I currently doing? What legacy will I leave behind?’ A legacy does not necessarily require doing something glorious as long as it is in the eyes of Allah ﷻ. It can range from privately raising a righteous child to publicly building a masjid. A scholar of the past said, “I am amazed at humankind. Every day they live, they want to decorate their houses even more even though they have one day less to live in those houses every day. Every day they live, they have no concern how their house in Jannah looks, and every day they live, they are coming closer to that house.”

The third is to rectify our intentions and make dua’a to Allah ﷻ consistently. Seek the help and support of Allah ﷻ to bless you, your good works, and your progeny. The dua’as that roll off your tongue daily define your intentions and goals. Do you only ask of matters concerning this life, or does your dua’a include the next life?

Finally, do not trivialize your role in this life. Allah ﷻ chose to guide you and so embrace His guidance and practice Islam to the fullest. Billions of humans have been born and perished. Their good works are what defined them both in this life and the next. Let us not allow ourselves to be amongst those who regret seeking the pleasure and acceptance of others over Allah’s satisfaction and acceptance ﷻ.

May Allah ﷻ bless our works, may He overlook our shortcomings, may He allow us to achieve the heights of each effort we make, and may He forgive our sins and mistakes. We ask Allah ﷻ to keep us on His Straight Path, to live as Muslims and die as Muslims and be resurrected amongst the ranks of the messengers, the truthful, the witnesses, and the righteous. Ameen.

Sh. Jamal M. Said

More than a Contract: (1)

Understanding Marriage as a Covenant

What comes to your mind when you hear the word ‘marriage’? Putting aside the cultural and traditional associations such as festivals, wedding venues, and honeymoons, the Quran goes deeper to associate marriage with a vivid, memorable image that, if honored, will undoubtedly lead to a healthy, lasting relationship.

The Quranic image of marriage is that of a mithaqghaliz; that is, a tightly woven covenant. Marriage is not merely a contract between two partners before a court but more greatly a covenant to be solemnly honored before Allah. When the Prophet ﷺ spoke against physical abuse against wives, he did not say: “do not beat your wife;” but instead he taught: “do not beat the female servants of Allah.” This word choice is intentional as it reminds us that if a husband engages in any abusive practice against his wife, he is not merely offending his wife but more significantly violating the rights of someone who belongs to Allah. Furthermore, marriage’s physical union is supposed to result in a spiritual and moral responsibility that would eliminate any abuse or exploitation. In the context of forbidding financial abuse against wives, the Quran states: “And how could you take it back after you were intimate with each other, and they have taken from you a tightly-woven covenant?” (Quran 4:21).

Interestingly, the image of a tightly woven covenant is that it is the same phrase the Quran uses to describe the agreement between Allah and the prophets to deliver the Divine message to people. “And ˹remember˺ when We took a covenant from the prophets, as well as from you ˹O Prophet˺, and from Noah, Abraham, Moses, and Jesus, son of Mary. We did take a tightly woven covenant from ˹all of˺ them” (Quran 33:7). Therefore the same word used to refer to the sacred duty of delivering God’s message refers to the spousal agreement to honor their marital relation before Allah. Thus, this Quranic usage indicates that entering into a married relationship is a solemn journey that must remain pure and sanctified.

Given the Quranic view of marriage as a covenant, how would this Quranic image of marriage help us maintain and foster marital relations? There is no doubt that our thoughts and perceptions create feelings that drive our behavior. Thereby it is instructive to examine some of the perceptual implications of the phrase “tightly-woven covenant” and how they can make positive marital behavior.

First, this covenant is ghaliz (tightly-woven). This phrase communicates to us the idea that marriages are meant initially to constitute life-long relations that are too strong to untie. Therefore, ending the marital relationship for trivial or deceptive reasons is a clear violation of Allah’s spousal solemn covenant. One could deceive a judicial system or a whole community, yet, one cannot deceive Allah, Who is the All-hearing, the All-seeing. The Quran reads: “If they are determined to a divorce, [remember that] Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing” (Quran 2:227). These two divine attributes serve as a warning against deceit and lies.

Second, the word covenant is meant to be a binding agreement that indicates that each partner will be held accountable before Allah for any unfair or careless decision related to this solemn relation.

Speaking about delivering and responding to the Divine message, the Quran asserts: “Indeed, We shall call to account those to whom the messengers were sent, and We shall call to account the messengers [themselves]” (Quran 7:6). Here we are informed that the prophets shall be questioned about their deliverance of God’s message due to the covenant God took from them. Similarly, spouses will be specially asked about the marital violations as marriage was a covenant they took before Allah.

Third, the word covenant (mithaq) interestingly shares the same root with the word trust (thiqah). This semantic connection between covenant and trust indicates that the marital relation’s spiritual honoring will hopefully nurture more trust between spouses. This trust is the most crucial element for a healthy lifetime commitment. A simple reason for this connection is that the closer you are to Allah, the closer you are to each other. Getting closer to Allah will develop a healthy conscience that nurtures conjugal chastity and directs spouses to cultivate their relationship as a way of worship and honoring the Divine commands.

Fourth, the concept of a covenant demands commitment. Every covenant has several terms that must be solemnly observed. So what is the marital covenant about from the Quranic perspective? The shortest Quranic advice for a blessed marriage is BE NICE! The Quran advises husbands: “Live with them in accordance to what is mar’ruf (what is known to be good, fair and kind), and if you happen to dislike them, you may dislike something yet Allah turns it into a great blessing” (Quran 4:19). Instead of dissecting why you are frustrated about the relation, try to be kind for a few weeks, and you will turn your marriage around. Instead of portraying a negative image of your spouse before your children, try to change your attitude toward your spouse and start recognizing the many good things he or she does. I remember reading a marriage book of more than 300 pages in less than a minute! That was not a miracle since each page had only two words on the top right corner,” be nice,” and the rest of the page was blank!

The Quranic commentators agree that this respectable and kind relationship reflected in the (Quran 4:19) is what the covenant is mainly about. In his commentary on this ayah (Quran 4:19), Imam Ibn Kathir explains that the elements of marital kindness are demonstrated through the following: “Saying good comforting words, displaying good considerate behavior and looking good as much as you could. As you wish her to look good for you, do the same for her since Allah says, ‘Wives have [rights] similar to their [obligations], according to what is recognized to be fair” (Quran 2:228). The Prophet ﷺ says: ‘The best among you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best among you to my family.” This is a reminder that a thriving marriage requires nurturing so that it grows over the years. For this reason, we need to see marriage as a garden that needs nurturing to grow and flourish, and this is what we will discuss in the next part, inshaAllah.

By Sh. Ahmed Arafat