Mosque Foundation | Bridgeview, Illinoisadmmf, Author at Mosque Foundation

Ramadan: A Time to Attain Taqwa

Allah’s favor has descended upon us as He has selected us to witness His month this year. Its days are the best of all days, nights the best of all nights, and hours the best of all hours. Mere breathing and sleeping are rewarded as worship during this month.

In Ramadan, Muslims increase their awareness of place and purpose. We are reminded of the blessings of our Creator as Allah ﷻ says, “Oh you who believe! Fasting has been ordained upon you as it was ordained upon those before you, that you may attain Taqwa (God-consciousness)” (Quran 2:183). Through gaining Taqwa, we become increasingly self-aware, measuring our thoughts, words, and actions.

And so we take advantage of this month by purifying our intentions and invoking Allah for whatever our heart desires, for He has promised to accept the invocations of the sincere. Jannah’s gates remain open this month, so we ask Allah to save us a home in it as we beseech Him to keep the gates of hell closed to us as they are closed during this blessed time of year.

Ramadan has arrived to discipline our worst enemy, our nafs, and nourish our hearts since the shayateen are locked up. In abstaining from food and drink, we recognize our ability to control our desires and urges. We elevate ourselves to become righteous, detaching from the animalistic persona society has glorified and convinced us is acceptable. Ramadan is a time to reevaluate our intentions, decisions, and actions; by doing so, we strengthen our relationship with our Creator.

During the month of the Quran, Muslims reconsider their relationship with Allah’s Book. We open our hearts to the Quran to allow its guidance to purify it. We ask Allah to illuminate our minds with its understanding. In reciting and memorizing the Quran, Muslims draw nearer to Allah, ﷻ receiving His protection and blessings.

As we reconsider our relationship with Allah ﷻ and His Book during Ramadan, we must also reflect upon our relationships with His slaves from our parents, siblings, relatives, in-laws, and friends. It would be a shame to allow Ramadan to pass without rectifying our relationships with fellow Muslims by seeking their forgiveness, forgiving them for their shortcomings, and ridding ourselves of grudges. We must remember that although Allah may forgive us for violating His rights upon us when we sin, He will not forgive us for violating the rights of our Muslim brothers and sisters. We must humble ourselves and seek forgiveness before a time comes when we will not have the luxury of doing so.

We must surround ourselves with good company and righteous friends and create a schedule to keep us from wasting our time, which often leads to sin. Ramadan is a time to train ourselves to give up bad habits, such as using foul language, and take up good practices, such as lowering our gaze and holding our tongues. We must work hard to guard our tongues, eyes, and ears away from all which displeases Allah ﷻ and spoils our inner selves. Everything we say, see, and hear will purify or ruin our hearts. Our struggles during this month will lighten our burdens on the Day of Accounting. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was reported to have said, “O People! You have made your conscience the slave of your desires; make it free by invoking Him for Istighfar (repentance/forgiveness). Your back breaks under the heavy load of your sins, so prostrate before Him for long intervals and make it lighter.”

We must remember this month’s objective, which is to save our skins from the fire of Jahanam and receive Allah’s mercy and forgiveness. Let us keep these reminders in mind. Abstain from watching television, including stations advertising entertainment programs made especially for Ramadan. The nights of Ramadan should not be reserved for such entertainment, playing cards, and smoking cigarettes or water pipes. Just as good deeds are heavily rewarded this month, evil deeds weigh heavily. We must observe the sanctity of this month as we observe the sanctity of Hajj. Sweeten your tongue with the remembrance of Allah and seek His forgiveness as you abstain from backbiting and gossip. Rid yourself of foul language, control your anger, and reconcile any disputes. Give Sadaqah and provide iftar to those in need and those not. Offering iftar to the fasting person, whether rich or poor, will be rewarded immensely, as promised by our beloved Messenger of Allah ﷺ. Strive to complete the recitation of the Quran during Qiyam and engage in reading Tafseer by pondering over the meaning of the verses.

Finally, be honest with yourself and make genuine attempts to improve yourself. If you left something during Ramadan for the sake of Allah, leave it permanently, and Allah will open doors in this dunya and the entry of Jannah in the Hereafter.

May Allah ﷻ accept our fasting, prayers, and supplications during this month.

Ramadan: A Time to Attain Taqwa

by Sh. Jamal Said

Ramadan: An Investment you can’t Forgo!

We praise Allah ﷻ for bestowing upon us yet another opportunity to witness and reap the innumerable benefits of Ramadan, the month of the Quran, and al-Motahir–the purifier of sins, as our blessed Companions, may Allah be pleased with them, referred to it. These days are the best of days and these nights are the best of nights. We purify our intentions and invoke Allah ﷻ with sincerity and charity.

Nothing can compare to the sense of community that envelops the Mosque Foundation during Ramadan. The prayer halls bustle with eager worshippers, and the words of Allah reverberate throughout the walls of the Masjid, night and day. Our community’s unwavering generosity and commitment have made us conﬁdent that we will witness unparalleled beneﬁcence once again bi’thinillah.

Our beloved Prophet Muhammad ﷺ spoke of the inseparable bond between fasting and giving, stating, “Fasting is a shield and Sadaqah extinguishes sin like water extinguishes ﬁre.” In working to uphold and embody the words of the Messenger ﷺ, we call on you not only to fast this month, abstaining from food and drink but also to guard against any sin:

Strive to abandon any immoral acts or habits seeking forgiveness from Allah ﷻ
Realign your inner compass, so it leads you to the path of Allah ﷻ
Rekindle your relationships with believers, relatives, and your Masjid
Aid in alleviating the suffering of those in need by offering your Zakat

Let these acts of charity be the keys to more bounties from Allah ﷻ. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “To Allah belong bounties and blessings (kept) with people that He will sustain for them as long as they are (busy) answering the needs of others, only if they do not feel bored (in doing so). If they feel bored from it, Allah will shift it to others.”

We also call on you to share in the enormous rewards of the thousands who worship, seek guidance, and receive assistance here by supporting the operations of our Masjid. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “Whomsoever (so much as) lights a lamp in a masjid, the Angels and Throne Bearers do not cease praying for them and asking forgiveness for them for as long as that lamp remains lit.”

Join us in fostering the growth and development of our Muslim American community. Please support the operations of this House of Allah with a generous contribution of $1000, $500, $250, or any amount you can afford.

By Sh. Jamal Said

Fiqh of Fasting and Pillars of Fasting

Fiqh of Fasting

Pillars of Fasting

First Pillar: Abstention from everything that invalidates the fast from dawn until sunset.

Allah, the Exalted, says: “… and eat and drink until the white thread (light) of dawn appears to you distinct from the black thread (the darkness of the night), then complete your fast till the nightfall” (Al-Baqarah: 187). ‘White and black thread’, as used in the above verse, implies lightness of the day and darkness of the night, respectively.

Second Pillar: Making the Intention

This implies that whoever abstains from all forms of eating, drinking, and other acts that invalidate fasting, should do that with the sole aim of worshiping Allah Almighty alone. The Prophet ﷺ said: “Every action shall be judged according to intention, and behind every action by a person is a specific intention” [Agreed upon].

The intention for fasting should be made the night before dawn if it is an obligatory fast. However, this (making intention the night before dawn) is not mandatory if the fasting is supplemental. Thus it is permissible to make an intention for supplemental fasting during the day if one has not previously done anything which nullifies fasting. This is in accordance with the hadith narrated by ‘Aishah, the mother of believers (may Allah be pleased with her): “ The Prophet ﷺ entered one day and said: ‘Is there anything to eat?’ We answered that there was not. Upon that, he (the Prophet) said: ‘Hence, I am fasting” [Muslim].

Recommended Acts during Fasting

1- Eating Suhoor (the pre-dawn meal) and delaying it up to as close to dawn as possible

The Prophet ﷺ said: “Eat the pre-dawn meal, for indeed, there are blessings in having the pre-dawn meal” [ Agreed upon]. Any amount of food, even a sip of water, is sufficient as a pre-dawn meal. This is in accordance with the Hadith of the Prophet ﷺ where he said: “The pre-dawn meal is a blessing, so do not forsake it, even if any one of you will drink just a sip of water. Indeed, Allah Almighty and His angels pray for those who have the pre-dawn meal” [Ahmad].

It is recommended to delay the pre-dawn meal. It is reported from Zayd ibn Thabit, (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: “We had the pre-dawn meal with the Prophet ﷺ one day and we left (from the sitting) for Salah.” Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “What range of time was between both (your meal and Salah)?” He said: “Up to the span of reading 50 verses (of the Noble Qur’an)” [Agreed upon].

2- Hastening to break the fast

It is recommended for the one who is fasting to hasten the breaking of their fast whenever they are sure the sun has set. The Prophet ﷺ said: “People will not cease to be in blessings whenever they hasten to break their fast” [Abu Dawud]. Likewise, it is recommended to have one’s iftar (meal taken when breaking one’s fast) first with fresh dates, or dry dates in the absence of fresh dates. It is also recommended to eat an odd number of the dates. Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) said: “The Prophet used to break his fast on fresh dates before Aṣ-Ṣalāh (the prayer), but if not fresh dates, then dry dates, otherwise he would drink (hassa)[ Hasā: he drank] sips of water” [Tirmidhi]. If despite all efforts, one finds none of these, and if they intend to break their fast – that will suffice.

3- Supplication when breaking one’s fast

It is established that the Prophet ﷺ would say when breaking his fast: “The thirst has gone, and the veins have been moistened, and the reward is established, by the Grace of Allah Almighty” [Abu Dawud]. The Prophet ﷺ also said: “Indeed for everyone who fasts, at the time of breaking (fast there) is a prayer that will never be rejected” [Ibn Majah].

4- Avoidance of vain talk and obscenity.

The Prophet ﷺ said: “On the day when any of you fasts, you should not utter vain talk (Ar-Rafath)[ Ar-Rafath: indecent talk or obscenities. It is also used for sexual acts] and should not fight nor shout [As-sakhb: to fight or shout over one another]. If anyone abuses or fights him, he should say: I am fasting” [Agreed upon].

The Prophet ﷺ also said: “For those who do not abandon false speech and false acts, Allah has no need for them to abandon their food and drink” [Abu-Dawud].

5- Intensify your worship of Allah Almighty

Recite from the Quran
Remember Allah Almighty
Stand at night for prayer
Stand in the Night of Majesty
Observe the daily supplementary prayers
Giving charity
Strive relentlessly on the righteous path
Provide meals for others who are fasting to break their fast with
Perform the lesser Hajj

Righteous deeds in Ramadan are rewarded in manifolds. Ibn ‘Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet ﷺ was the most generous of men and he was more generous in Ramadan. Angel Jibril met with him, which happened to be every night of Ramadan, and revised the Quran with him. Indeed the Prophet ﷺ was more generous when he met with Jibril, more so than a blowing breeze” [Bukhari].

6- Striving to worship, especially in the last ten days of Ramadan

Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) said: “When the last ten days (of Ramadan) would come, the Prophet ﷺ would exert himself and tighten his Izaar [a metaphor that signifies his striving to worship more than usual] (waistcloth). Spend his night in worship and wake his family [to prompt them to worship] (at night)” [Bukhari].

Things which Invalidate the Fast

1- Deliberate eating or drinking in the day during Ramadan

Whosoever eats or drinks inadvertently, their fast is authentic and acceptable. However, they must stop further consumption whenever they remember. The Prophet ﷺ said: “Whoever eats or drinks forgetfully while fasting should complete their fast, for it is Allah who has fed them and provided for them what they drank” [Muslim].

Anything that reaches the throat through the mouth or nose, meaning food and drink, invalidates the fast. An example is an intravenous injection of nutrients. However, if it is a curative injection, such as a penicillin or insulin injection, it does not invalidate one’s fast. There are also some other things, such as inhalers or different medical variants for the asthmatics that are needed for special conditions, that do not invalidate one’s fast.

The use of eye and ear drops, or their variants do not invalidate one’s fast; this is because no evidence establishes that any of these invalidates fasting. Moreover, the eyes are not the usual path for food and drinks. This is also applicable to ear and nose drops; except that it is essential to be careful with nose drops, due to the restrictions by the Prophet ﷺ concerning excesses when the one who fasts sniffs in water (during ablution), as the nose is a clear path to the stomach.

If one who fasts takes or consumes a non-edible item or harmful substance such as cigarettes, their fasting is invalidated. This is because it is consumed through the usual path of food intake (the mouth), and also because it is a variant of eating and drinking.

2- Marital relations

Allah Almighty says: “It is permissible for you to go into [Ar-Rafath (have sexual intercourse with)] your wives, in the night of fasting” (Al-Baqarah: 187).

Those who have intercourse while fasting will invalidate their fast. It is thus required to pay back that day (in which their fast was invalidated). Also, they must expiate by setting a slave free. Upon their inability to do so, they are required to do either of the following in the order listed: fast two consecutive months or feed sixty needy people. This is the sequence of expiation (Kaffarah). It is not correct to feed the sixty needy people if one can fast; it is just as wrong to fast if one is capable of freeing a slave.

3- Intentional vomiting

Definition: The throwing up of whatever is in the stomach of food or drink voluntarily through the mouth. If, however, you are overtaken by the need to vomit, and you throw up involuntarily, then your fasting is still valid. The Prophet ﷺ said: “Whoever vomits involuntarily does not have to make up for the fast, but whoever vomits deliberately, let them make up for the fast.”

4- Discharge of blood of hayd (menstruation) and nefas (post-natal bleeding)

When a woman sees the blood of hayd or nefas – even at the last moment before sunset – she must break her fast and make up for the day.

Source: Illustrated Jurisprudence of Acts of Worship by Dr. Abdullah Bahmmam

Ramadan – In the Footsteps of a Great Generation

Imam Malik, the Imam of one of the four schools of Islamic jurisprudence, may Allah bestow mercy upon him, would seek permission to be excused following each of his lectures which were attended by hundreds of students, to spend an hour of his time with the Companions of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. As many of you may already know, the last surviving Companion died many years before Imam Malik was born. However, this great scholar, a genius of his time, would dedicate at least an hour of his day delving into the books authored by the Sahabah and read their biographies. He was both inspired and intrigued by their lives.

Although the Companions of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ lived humble lives, their generation’s accomplishments have yet to be recreated by another generation since the history of Islam, if not humanity. For this reason, I implore you and myself to take this opportunity to walk in the lives of the Companions and their righteous followers to gain a picture of how they welcomed the blessed month of Ramadan. We may enjoy the beautiful scent that springs from their experiences and gain direction on our path toward righteousness through learning from them.

It is narrated that the Companions of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ would engage in dua’a, (sincere prayer), six months before the arrival of Ramadan seeking Allah’s permission to witness the month. They would also pray for the six months, which followed seeking Allah’s acceptance of their works during the month. Yahya ibn Abi Kathir narrates that they prayed, “Oh Allah preserve me until the arrival of Ramadan, make the month easy for me, and accept it from me.”

So worried were they that Al-Motahir (the purifier), as they referred to the month, would not arrive in their homes each year, they would say, “Welcome O purifier of sins.” There could not be a more generous guest than Ramadan, which brings great mercy and blessings. The Sahabah would not ask for forgiveness in any other month more than they would during Ramadan. Abdullah bin Umar, a great companion and the son of a great companion, used to say upon breaking his fast, “Oh Allah I ask from Your mercy which has encompassed everything to forgive me.” He could have asked for absolutely anything but chose this opportune time to seek Allah’s forgiveness.

The Quran would receive special attention during the month of Ramadan by the Companions of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, especially during the night, when they had finished their laboring and hearts were ready for contemplation. Uthman ibn Affan took advantage of this and recited the Quran from beginning to end daily, while other Companions would complete the Quran every seven nights during Taraweeh prayers.

Not only did they recite the Quran, but they were also sincere in their recitation and devout in their concentration. Albayhaqi narrates, when the Companions recited the verses from Surat al-Najm, “Do you, perchance, find this tiding strange? And you laugh instead of weeping?” (Quran 59-61), they would begin to cry. When asked why they would cry every time they read these verses, they would reply that they witnessed Prophet Muhammad ﷺ crying when he recited these very verses. And so was their devotion to every verse of the Quran, knowing its time of revelation, its linguistic beauty, meaning, and relevance. They were keen on learning the emotions of the beloved Messenger of Allah when he recited each verse. How perfect was their faith? A true inspiration.

During Ramadan, the Companions occupied themselves with worship. Al-Saeb bin Yazeed narrates that Omar bin al-Khattab ordered Obay bin Ka’b and Tamim al-Dari to lead Muslims in Taraweeh prayers. He explains that they recited the Quran and prolonged the prayer until the people had no choice but to lean on canes. Qiyam would not end until salat al-Fajr was but moments away.

The Messenger of Allah ﷺ and his Companions were the most generous during Ramadan. Ibn Abbas narrates, “The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was the most generous person amongst us, and he was the most generous during Ramadan.”

During the last ten days of Ramadan, the Companions made ghusl and perfumed themselves constantly to welcome the holiest of days. Aisheh, the beloved wife of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, narrates that during the last days of Ramadan the Messenger ﷺ would tighten his belt, signaling a time of devotion.

May Allah ﷻ allow us to learn from our dear Prophet’s example and the excellent examples of his beloved Companions. I pray that we are blessed with the opportunity to experience this Ramadan in a manner befitting in the footsteps of the great generation of Sahabah.

By Sh. Jamal Said

What is Fasting?

Fasting is called sawm in the Qur’an. The word sawm literally means “to abstain”. According to Shari ‘ah, the word sawm means to abstain from all those things that are forbidden during fasting from the break of dawn to the sunset, and to do this with the intention of fasting.

Purpose of Fasting

The Qur’an says, “O you who believe, fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those who were before you, in order that you may learn taqwa (piety).” (Al-Baqarah 2:183). Taqwa is the sum total of all Islamic spirituality and ethics. It is a quality in a believer’s life that keeps him/her constantly aware of Allah. Taqwa is piety, righteousness and consciousness of Allah. Taqwa requires patience and perseverance. Fasting teaches patience, and through patience, one can rise to the highest position of taqwa. The Prophet (PBUH) said that fasting is a shield. It protects a person from sin and lustful desires. Imam Ibn Al-Qayyim viewed fasting as a means of releasing the human spirit from the clutches of desire.

Fasting Is Obligatory

In the second year of Hijrah, Muslims were commanded to fast in the month of Ramadan every year. The prophet (PBUH) said, “Islam is built upon five pillars: testifying that there is no god except Allah and Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah; performing Prayer; paying the zakah; making the pilgrimage to the Sacred House (Hajj); and fasting the month of Ramadan.” Narrated by Bukhari.

Rules of Fasting

Fasting in the month of Ramadan is obligatory upon every Muslim, male or female, who is adult (i.e., has reached puberty) and sane and who is not sick or traveling.

Temporary sickness allows people to break their fast but he/she must fast at a later time after Ramadan to complete the missed days. An incurable illness allows people to break their fast, but they must pay the fidyah (Feeding a needy person, or approximately $10 per day).

Women in their menses and post-partum bleeding are not allowed to fast, but they must make up the missed days after Ramadan. If pregnant women and mothers who are nursing babies find it difficult to fast, they can also postpone their fasting to a later time when they are in a better condition. Some scholars say they can pay fidyah only without having to make up the missed days.

A journey according to the Sharia is any journey that takes you away from your city of residence, a minimum of 48 miles or 80 kilometers, according to the norm of what would be considered traveling, i.e. 48 miles or more from your city, outside the boundaries of whatever it encompasses. The traveler who misses fasting in Ramadan must make up those missed days as soon as possible after Ramadan.

Fasting According to the Sunnah

It is Sunnah and there is a great reward and blessing in taking suhur. The best time for suhur is the last half hour before the time of Fajr prayer begins (dawn).
Take Iftar (break-fast) immediately after sunset. During the fast, abstain from all false talks and deeds.
Do not quarrel, have disputes, indulge in arguments, use foul words or indecent language, or do anything that is forbidden.
During the fast, do acts of charity and goodness for others and increase your worship and reading of the Qur’an. Every Muslim should try to read the whole Qur’an at least once during the month of Ramadan.

Things That Invalidate the Fast

You must avoid doing anything that may render your fast invalid. Things that invalidate the fast and require qadaa’ (making up for these days) are the following:

Intentionally eating or drinking.
Deliberately causing yourself to vomit.
The beginning of menstrual or post-childbirth bleeding even in the last moment before sunset.
Sexual contact (intercourse, or any touching which causes the semen to leak out).

Things That Do Not Invalidate Fasting

Taking a bath or shower. If water is swallowed involuntarily it will not invalidate the fast.
Using perfumes, wearing contact lenses or using eye drops.
Taking medicinal injections (non-nutritional) or having a blood test. (an IV or stomach tube would be considered nutritional, thereby breaking the fast)
Using miswak (tooth-stick) or toothbrush (even with toothpaste) and rinsing the mouth or nostrils with water, provided it is not overdone (so as to avoid swallowing water).
Eating or drinking unintentionally, like forgetting that one was fasting. But one must stop as soon as one remembers and should continue one’s fast.
Sleeping during the daytime.
Women whose menstruation stops during the night may begin fasting even if they have not made ghusul (full bathing of the entire body) yet.
Having dental work.
Using inhalers. (such as for asthma)

Requirements for Fasting to Be Valid

There are basically two main components of fasting:

The intention (niyyah) for fasting. One should make a sincere intention to fast for the sake of Allah everyday before dawn. The intention need not be in words. Some jurists are of the opinion that it is sufficient to make the intention once for the whole month and does not have to be repeated everyday.
Abstaining from dawn to dusk from everything that invalidates fasting.

Sh. Kifah Mustapha

Three Categories of Sin

Imam Muslim collected in his authentic compilation on the authority of Ibn Abbas, who said: “The Arab pre-Islam pagans indulged in an enormity of the worship of idols, murder, and fornication. Upon hearing Prophet Muhammad’s ﷺ call to Islam, they responded: ‘Your calling is pure and good if only there were expiation for the atrocities we committed.’

Upon this statement, Allah responded:

“And those who do not invoke another deity with Allah or kill the soul Allah has forbidden [to be killed], except by right, do not commit unlawful sexual intercourse. And whoever should do that will meet a penalty. Multiplied for him is the punishment on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein humiliated. Except for those who repent, believe, and do righteous work. For them, Allah will replace their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful. And he who repents and does righteousness does indeed turn to Allah with [accepted] repentance” (Quran 25: 68-71).

What is the gravest sin?

In another narration collected by both Bukhari and Muslim, Ibn Mas’ood narrates that he asked the Prophet ﷺ, What is the gravest sin? The Prophet ﷺ responded: “That you worship another along with Allah even though it is Allah alone who has created you.” Ibn Mas’ood asked: “And after that?” The messenger of Allah ﷺ replied: “That you kill your child fearing that he might infringe upon your sustenance.” Ibn Mas’ood then asked: “And after that?” The Prophet ﷺ said: “That you fornicate with your neighbor’s spouse.”

Looking closely at these above narrations, we find a pattern of three types of sin:

The first is a sin against one’s Lord.
The second is a sin against one’s fellow man.
The third is a sin against one’s own heart and soul.

What about those in between heaven and hell?

In the Quran and Sunnah texts, we often observe this pattern repeating itself. Mentioned are examples of the extreme of these three types of sin. For instance, Allah mainly mentions in the Quran the people of paradise and their opposites–the people of hellfire. What about those in between heaven and hell? Those who have mixed good and evil, righteousness and sinfulness?

The Quran is a reference that is not only comprehensive but concise. Hence, Allah addresses and dwells mainly upon extreme examples: idolatry, murder, adultery, etc. We [Islamic scholars] deduce less severe rulings from these extreme examples. For instance, Allah speaks of disbelievers whose hearts are cold, and their actions follow suit. We conclude from this extreme example that those who believe in their hearts but whose faith is contaminated with impurities and whose activities mirror those of the disbelievers are thus comparable to the disbelievers.

Similar to how a painter has primary colors and doesn’t need the color gray at their disposal; they need black and white from which they can make any shade of gray for the intended task. Likewise, when Allah explains to us one extreme or primary condition, we can derive any other shade from it that applies to the present.

By: Sh. Ali Mashhour

Anger Management

Abu Hurayrah reported that the Prophet ﷺ said: “A strong person is not one who frequently defeats people in wrestling; it is the one who keeps themself under control when anger arises” (Bukhari and Muslim).

Tap Into Your Strength

Upon reflection, the hadith teaches that one’s power and strength depend on one’s ability to control anger. In other words, uncontrolled anger is a sure way to lose your power and ruin your life. That is why anger is connected to serious crimes such as assault and murder and is frequently associated with helplessness, loss, frustration, violence, and, eventually, regret. The hadith corrects the fallacy that calmness or forgiveness is a sign of weakness. In an obvious statement, the Prophet ﷺ equates power with controlling emotions. A wise man said: “The person [who controls their anger] will not be enslaved by lusts, conquered by whims, or defeated by anger.”

What is Anger?

Anger is defined as “A human emotion that varies in intensity from mild annoyance and irritation to strong fury and rage.” According to this definition, anger is a natural emotion experienced by all humans, like all other emotions, such as joy and happiness. Anger, in itself, is not a destructive emotion. The problem lies in mismanaging it. In his Ihyaa, Imam al-Ghazali makes this issue very clear as he observes: “Some think that anger can be eliminated and treated. Others think it cannot be treated at all.” Both opinions, the Imam, are faulty. “As long as humans love certain things and hate others, they will surely be apt to anger. As long as things go your way, you will love them; otherwise, you will hate them. Anger follows that [love and hate].”

Handle Your Anger

Accordingly, how you handle your anger makes it acceptable or not. Maymoun ibn Mahran said: “A man came to Sulayman and said: “O Abu Abdullah, give me a piece of advice. Upon this, Sulayman said: ‘Do not get angry!’ the man replied: “You instructed me not to get angry; yet, sometimes, it is uncontrollable.” Then Sulayman said: “If you get angry, control your tongue and your hand!” This conversation sets the big difference between controlled anger, where no abuse is involved, and uncontrolled anger, which requires immediate treatment.

Here is an example that shows the Prophet’s anger: Abu Mas’ud narrated that once a man said to the Prophet ﷺ: “I come late to the Fajr prayer because the Imam makes his Salah long. Then the Prophet ﷺ got angry. I had never seen him angrier before and said: “O people, some of you dissuade people [from Allah]. Whoever leads Salah should make it short, for behind him are the weak, the old, and people with emergencies.” Although the Prophet’s anger was visible, it was constructive for the following reasons:

The motivation for his anger was unselfish; it was for the injustice done to others, not to the Prophet.
There was no physical or verbal abuse involved.
There was no hatred or malice involved.
His point was well presented with sound arguments.
It was not his habit to get angry.

Managing Anger

Usually, uncontrolled anger is a signal that alerts us that there is something wrong that should be corrected immediately. It also ignites us to reject domestic, social, economic, or political injustices and defend others’ rights. Countless organizations developed out of outrage for intolerable carelessness. For example, in 1981, after two Wayland High School hockey players were killed in car crashes, SADD (Students Against Drunk Drivers) was founded to oppose drunk drivers and worked on passing stricter penalties. Now the organization expanded its mission and name to be named Students Against Destructive Decisions to prevent all destructive behaviors harmful to young people, such as drinking, impaired driving, violence, and suicide.

As for uncontrolled anger, it should be considered one’s worst enemy. It is a sign of weakness, and sometimes a sign of insanity, that may destroy individuals, family members, friends, co-workers, or even nations. It may even cost your life! Mismanaged anger can lead to complicated physical, social, and spiritual problems, making it impossible to enjoy life. Physically, anger causes increased heart rate, blood pressure, and levels of adrenaline. Socially, it may lead to ruined marriages, demolished families, hostility, and losing friends. Spiritually, the enmity and hatred caused by anger lead to many spiritual problems. In his Ihyaa, Imam al-Ghazali observes: “Hostility results in eight matters against the hated person.

Hasad (Evil Envy): wishing that others would lose their God-given favors
Feeling happy when a calamity befalls others
Abandoning someone even if they try to approach you
Withdrawing from someone out of belittlement
Backbiting and slandering
Mimicking out of ridicule
Physical abuse
Denying the rights of others

Try to Stay Calm

Due to all these damaging effects of anger, the Prophet ﷺ instructed us not to get angry. According to Imam al-Bukhari, Abu Hurayrah narrated that a man came to the Prophet and said: ‘Give me some advice.’ “Do not get angry,” replied the Prophet ﷺ. Then the man repeated the request several times only to get the same answer from the Prophet. Scholars interpreted ‘Do not get angry’ in two ways. First, avoid the situations that trigger your anger and work on developing your character. Second, do not act on your anger when it arises, as Allah describes the righteous, “And those who avoid the major sins and immoralities, and when they are angry, they forgive” (Quran 42:37).

Steps to Manage Your Anger:

Change your view of anger. Remember that the Prophet ﷺ counted uncontrolled anger as a sign of weakness. In his Ihyaa, Imam al-Ghazali observes: “One of the sparks that ignite anger is that many ignorant people call anger’ courage, manhood, prestige, and perseverance!”
As I explained in a previous article on the Five Habits of Good Listeners, develop better communication skills.
Develop the habit of Muhasabah (self-accountability). Ask yourself what you do wrong daily. Do not hesitate to ask them for forgiveness when you realize you dealt unjustly with someone.
Breathe deeply and repeat a calming word, phrase, or sentence. The Quran teaches: “If a suggestion from Satan assails your (mind), seek refuge with Allah; for He is the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing” (Quran 7:200). Accordingly, the Prophet ﷺ recommended saying faithfully: “a’udhu billahi mina al-Shaytan al-Rajeem” which means “I seek Allah’s refuge against Satan, the Expelled [from God’s mercy].”
Do not make decisions or pass judgments when angry. Wait till you calm down. Do not write any letters or send emails or phone messages while in a state of anger since there is a chance of error in judgment or harsh tone. Imam Bukhari and Muslim narrated, on the authority of Abu Bakr, that the Prophet ﷺ said: “Let none of you judge between two people when their anger arises.”
Listen to your partner to absorb their anger. Screaming back will never solve a problem! Ibn Abbas reported that the Prophet ﷺ said: “If anyone of you gets angry, let them be silent!” Ibn Rajab commented: “This is a good remedy for anger because an angry person will utter offensive words and then regret it when calm. So if they stop talking, all this evil would go away.” Just think of the last time you got angry with someone. Think about how much better it would have been if you had chosen to walk away or remain silent. It would be best if you practiced silence till it becomes second nature.
Remember Allah’s power and your need to attain His forgiveness before abusing others.
Learn from your mistakes. Write down what triggered your anger. Ask yourself what you did wrong and how to do better next time.
Think of how ugly a person looks when angry.
Try to recall anything good the offending person did for you. This will help undermine your anger.
Forgive, and Allah will forgive you. “And let them pardon and overlook. Would you not like that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving and Merciful” (Quran 24:22).
Forgive, and Allah will appreciate your behavior and love your character. Allow time to feel Allah’s love and appreciation of your conduct peacefully. On the authority of Ibn Abbas, Imam Muslim reported that the Prophet ﷺ said to Ashaj ibn Abd Qays: “You have two characteristics that Allah loves: forgiveness and calmness.”
Recall and read the inspiring stories of forgiving and loving people.
Pray. The Prophet ﷺ frequently prayed: “O Allah, I ask you to grant me Truth in anger and displeasure” (Imam Ahmed).
Do not give up.

The Last Prophet of Islam: Dearer to Us Than Our Own Souls

I remind you and myself that it was during this time that the human who deserves our utmost loyalty, devotion, and love was born. Though we do not celebrate his birth, as he ﷺ taught us not to, we are reminded of the history of the heavy burden he carried upon his shoulders. We ask Allah ﷻ to fill our hearts with love for Him and His Messenger ﷺ.

During these days, we recall the torment and ridicule that Prophet Muhammad ﷺ received at the hands of his own family and tribe for the message of Tawheed to reach us today. We lament over the time he stood alone in the darkness of Cave Thawr with his loyal friend, Abu Bakr, at his side. Tears are brought to our eyes as we picture Allah’s Messenger ﷺ returning from at-Taif with blood trickling down his legs as he turned toward the heavens asking only that his Lord be pleased with him.

We remember the farewell pilgrimage during which Prophet Muhammad ﷺ turned to the masses of people before him, asking them if they will witness that he had conveyed the message. And because he feared the people could not hear him, he discharged his companions to race between the crowds repeating his question. And the masses of Muslims began to shout, “Yes! We bear witness that you have conveyed the message, oh Messenger of Allah ﷺ!” Upon which, he turned his hands up to the sky and said, “Oh, Allah, witness that I have conveyed the message!”

Over 1400 years later, we also bear witness that Prophet Muhammad ﷺ conveyed the message. We are indebted to this man who will stand before His Lord beseeching, “My Ummah, My Ummah,” until Allah ﷻ will grant him his request and this Ummah will be saved from the blazing fire.

Of the rights Prophet Muhammad ﷺ has upon us is that we believe in him and believe in the message he was chosen to convey. Prophet Muhammad ﷺ did not decide to carry the burden; he was chosen to carry it. Allah selected him because of his noble character, humility, sincerity, selflessness, and devotion to what he commanded. Allah has made it, so that belief in him and belief in his final Messenger are inseparable. And so we appreciate him by believing in his message, and we attest to his dedication.

In Islam, belief is often coupled with action. Belief in the Prophet ﷺ is no different in this regard. As an expression of faith, we act according to his guidance as a fulfillment of Allah’s ﷻ command, “Oh you who believe obey Allah and His Messenger” (Quran 8:20). The Messenger of Allah ﷺ was reported to have said, “All of my Ummah will enter Paradise except those who refuse to.” The Companions, astonished that someone could refuse Paradise asked, “Oh Messenger of Allah, who would refuse Paradise?” He ﷺ replied, “Whoever obeys me will enter Paradise, and whoever disobeys me has refused” (Bukhari). Let us not be among those who refuse Paradise. Let us be of those who emulate him and follow his ﷺ Sunnah. Let us be of those who hear a Hadith of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and listen attentively and carefully for direction.

None of us will truly believe until he ﷺ is dearer to us than our souls, so we praise and honor him, his household and companions. He ﷺ says, “Do not curse my companions. If any of you were to spend the weight of Uhud in gold, it still would not reach the measure of one of them or even one-half of it.” For this reason and many more, we ensure that we are serious in our humility and respect when speaking about the Prophet ﷺ and his companions. It is reported that a man once said, “I have not seen anyone with more of an appetite and more cowardly in battle than those who memorize the book of Allah,” referring to the companions of the Messenger ﷺ. In response to this jest, Allah revealed the verse, “If you ask them, they declare, ‘We were only talking idly and joking.’ Say, ‘Was it Allah and His verses and His Messenger that you were mocking?” (Quran 9:65) Upon hearing the verse, the man ran toward Prophet Muhammad ﷺ imploring him to forgive him, saying he was only joking. And the Prophet ﷺ would not turn his face toward him repeating the verse, “Was it Allah and His verses and His Messenger that you were mocking?”

Also, from among his rights ﷺ is that we judge according to his judgments. We refer to the Quran and Sunnah before making any decision. Our desires, our logic, our whims are irrelevant compared to the Quran and Sunnah of the Messenger ﷺ. Muslims must beware of innovations, for every innovation is a deviation, and every deviation leads to Hellfire. Beware of making additions or deletions to the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. Beware of attributing words or actions to which he is innocent.

Finally, the Messenger of Allah’s rights upon us is to send Salah and Salam upon him. Allah commands the believers to send their Salah and Tasleem upon him. And he ﷺ said, “The nearest people to me on the Day of Rising will be those who have said the most prayers on me.”

Oh, Allah send Your prayers and peace upon Muhammad, the merciful, the guider, the beseecher, and upon his family and companions, by the number of leaves that grow on every tree, by the number of people who have lived and died, and by the number of rivers and seas until the last day. Ameen.

Sh. Jamal Said

More than a Contract: Honoring the Divine Gift in Marriage

Marriage is a huge milestone that deserves to be celebrated and honored. Usually, people shower the couple with gifts to commemorate their big day. Describing marriage, the Quran highlights a divine gift without which marriages do not work. The Quran reads: “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who reflect” (Quran 30:21). According to this verse, spouses are granted the God-given gift of “affection and mercy” once they enter into the Halal relation. The “affection and mercy” essentially create the marital union. This Quranic expression reflects both the essence of an Islamic marriage and the intrinsic needs of human nature.

Regarding marital matters, many Muslims prefer to be legally minded. However, this verse teaches that marriage is not merely a contract but initially a relationship, which requires spouses to be emotionally minded. As explained by al-Raghib al-Asfahani (d. 502/1108), justice is sought when love fails. When spouses understand this emotional foundation of marriage, all types of abuse will be absent. Verbal, physical, and emotional abuses are forbidden because they go against the very foundation of marriage: affection and mercy. Sayyidah Aiesha describes the Prophet’s ﷺ general conduct: “Never did the Prophet ﷺ hit anything or anyone with his hand, be it a woman or a servant, unless he was on a battlefield (resisting offensive enemies).” Homes are not to be battlefields exchanging physical or verbal abuses.

As far as human nature is concerned, both the husband and wife are linguistically called jawz (lit. one pairing), which indicates that a man becomes “complete” with his wife, and a wife becomes “complete” with her husband. This idea of completeness, companionship, and emotional fulfillment materializes when the man and woman enter the marital covenant founded on the divine gift of affection and mercy.

However, this divine gift is not to be taken for granted; it is a blessing that requires some practices and routines that sustain it throughout the years. In other words, this divine blessing is like a garden that needs to be weeded and nurtured to grow and flourish. Once spouses deal with marriage as a garden, they become more orientated toward the healthy practices that cultivate the foundation of “affection and mercy” in marital relations. In the coming articles, we will highlight these practices one at a time.

The 10 Blessed Days of Thul-Hijjah

The first ten days of Thul-Hijjah are the days of Hajj. These days include the Day of Arafah, the peak of the Hajj pilgrimage. The mountain and plain of Arafah are the focal points where pilgrims gather. Such a mammoth gathering of Muslims supplicating to Allah is bound to have profound effects on the whole world; Allah promises an answer for those who gather on Arafah. The Prophet ﷺ urged those who are not performing Hajj to spend these days in as much devotion as possible. This helps us exercise spiritual solidarity with the pilgrims. The Prophet is reported to have said, “There are no days that are dearer to Allah in respect of devoting oneself to worship than the first ten days of Thul-Hijjjah.” He is also reported to have said, “Fasting on the day of Arafah expiates sins of two years, the past and future.”

Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Canada, states the following:

“The first ten days of Thul-Hijjah have been singled out, especially for great merits and excellences like no other days in the Islamic calendar. Allah, in His infinite wisdom and mercy, has chosen to dispense infinite spiritual blessing and rewards. Thanks to the high status these days enjoy, Allah has made them worthy of making an oath by them when He says ‘By the Daybreak, by the Ten Nights’ (Quran 89:1–2). According to some Quran commentators or mufassirun, the ten nights mentioned here are none other than the first ten nights of Thul-Hijjah; others, however, hold the view that these nights specifically refer to the last ten nights of Ramadan. No one denies that the first ten days of Thul-Hijjah possess tremendous blessings and excellence. This has been confirmed by the Prophet ﷺ who is reported to have said, “There are no days that are dearer to Allah in respect of devoting oneself to worship than the first ten days of Thul-Hijjjah.”

Based on this and similar traditions, scholars have stressed that the days and nights of Thul-Hijjah must be set aside for intense dedication to worship, increased preoccupation with virtuous acts, and contemplation. Virtue and reflection go hand in hand in Islam. Acts that are especially worthy of doing are: reading the Quran; making dhikr and du’aa; performing supererogatory prayers; sending blessings on the Prophet ﷺ; rendering acts of kindness and compassion; visiting the sick; doing what is right and forbidding what is wrong; bringing peace, reconciliation, and harmony among people; helping those who are in distress or need, and so on. While these works are ongoing concerns of Muslims, they must undoubtedly be multiplied in these days more than any other time.

Fasting is notably mentioned as the most worthy act of devotion to be performed in the first nine days of Thul-Hijjah; this is true of those who are not performing Hajj. According to some traditions, by fasting these days, one is accorded a tremendous opportunity to gain repentance and forgiveness. If we cannot manage to fast all nine days, we should at least fast the ninth day of Thul-Hijjah, which is known as the Day of Arafah. However, it is also worth mentioning that while fasting the first nine days of Thul-Hijjah is recommended, it is forbidden to fast during the days of the Eid. This prohibition is not limited to the tenth of Thul-Hijjah; rather, it extends to the eleventh, twelfth, and thirteenth, for all of these are days of festivities and celebrations.

Finally, it is perhaps worth mentioning that the unique merits and excellences associated with the days of Thul-Hijjah are in no small measure because they coincide with the performance of the most significant rites of Hajj. The first days of Hajj are the following: the day of tarwiyah, which falls on Thul-Hijjah 8 and is the day the pilgrims resume ihram and proceed to Mina; the day of Arafah, which is on the ninth, the day of the great ritual of standing on the plain of Arafah; and the day of nahr, which falls on the tenth and is the day of sacrifice and stoning the Jamarat. The fact that the pilgrims are gathering in the sacred sites to perform the greatest rites of Hajj is itself a most significant event; therefore, it fits those who are not pilgrims to show spiritual and emotional solidarity with the pilgrims. Therefore, as the pilgrims are engaged in performing the great rites of Hajj, Muslims, wherever they are, are also encouraged to partake something of the tremendous spiritual feats and experience by performing such acts of virtue and devotion.

May Allah the Most Exalted and Glorious expose us to these rites’ wisdom and bless us all to participate in them with our whole bodies, minds, and souls. Ameen.

Hajj Changes Lives

When Al-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz (Malcolm X) was in Makkah, he wrote a letter to his loyal assistants in Harlem… from his heart:
“Never have I witnessed such sincere hospitality and overwhelming spirit of true brotherhood as is practiced by people of all colors and races here in this ancient Holy Land, the home of Abraham, Muhammad and all the other Prophets of the Holy Scriptures. For the past week, I have been utterly speechless and spellbound by the graciousness I see displayed all around me by people of all colors.

I have been blessed to visit the Holy City of Makkah, I have made my seven circuits around the Ka’bah, led by a young Mutawaf named Muhammad, I drank water from the well of the Zamzam. I ran seven times back and forth between the hills of Mt. Al-Safa and Al-Marwah. I have prayed in the ancient city of Mina, and I have prayed on Mt. `Arafat.

There were tens of thousands of pilgrims, from all over the world. They were of all colors, from blue-eyed blondes to black-skinned Africans. But we were all participating in the same ritual, displaying a spirit of unity and brotherhood that my experiences in America had led me to believe never could exist between the white and non-white.

America needs to understand Islam, because this is the one religion that erases from its society the race problem. Throughout my travels in the Muslim world, I have met, talked to, and even eaten with people who in America would have been considered white-but the white attitude was removed from their minds by the religion of Islam. I have never before seen sincere and true brotherhood practiced by all colors together, irrespective of their color.

You may be shocked by these words coming from me. But on this pilgrimage, what I have seen, and experienced, has forced me to rearrange much of my thought-patterns previously held, and to toss aside some of my previous conclusions. This was not too difficult for me. Despite my firm convictions, I have always been a man who tries to face facts, and to accept the reality of life as new experience and new knowledge unfolds it. I have always kept an open mind, which is necessary to the flexibility that must go hand in hand with every form of intelligent search for truth.

During the past eleven days here in the Muslim world, I have eaten from the same plate, drunk from the same glass, and slept on the same rug-while praying to the same God-with fellow Muslims, whose eyes were the bluest of blue, whose hair was the blondest of blond, and whose skin was the whitest of white. And in the words and in the deeds of the white Muslims, I felt the same sincerity that I felt among the black African Muslims of Nigeria, Sudan and Ghana.

We were truly all the same (brothers)-because their belief in one God had removed the white from their minds, the white from their behavior, and the white from their attitude.
I could see from this, that perhaps if white Americans could accept the Oneness of God, then perhaps, too, they could accept in reality the Oneness of Man-and cease to measure, and hinder, and harm others in terms of their “differences” in color.

With racism plaguing America like an incurable cancer, the so-called “Christian” white American heart should be more receptive to a proven solution to such a destructive problem. Perhaps it could be in time to save America from imminent disaster-the same destruction brought upon Germany by racism that eventually destroyed the Germans themselves.

Each hour here in the Holy Land enables me to have greater spiritual insights into what is happening in America between black and white. The American Negro never can be blamed for his racial animosities-he is only reacting to four hundred years of the conscious racism of the American whites. But as racism leads America up the suicide path, I do believe, from the experiences that I have had with them, that the whites of the younger generation, in the colleges and universities, will see the handwriting on the walls and many of them will turn to the spiritual path of truth-the only way left to America to ward off the disaster that racism inevitably must lead to.

Never have I been so highly honored. Never have I been made to feel more humble and unworthy. Who would believe the blessings that have been heaped upon an American Negro? A few nights ago, a man who would be called in America a white man, a United Nations diplomat, an ambassador, a companion of kings, gave me his hotel suite, his bed. Never would I have even thought of dreaming that I would ever be a recipient of such honors-honors that in America would be bestowed upon a King-not a Negro.

All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all the Worlds.”

Sincerely,
Al-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz (Malcolm X)
(Text is from the AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF MALCOLM X with assistance from Alex Haley, the author of ROOTS).

More than a Contract: Understanding Marriage as a Covenant

What comes to your mind when you hear the word marriage? Putting aside the cultural and traditional associations such as festivals, wedding venues and honeymoons, the Quran goes deeper to associate marriage with a vivid memorable image that, if honored, will surely lead to a healthy, lasting relationship. The Quranic image of marriage is that of a mithaq ghaliz; that is, a tightly-woven covenant. Marriage is not merely a contract between two partners before a court but more greatly a covenant to be solemnly honored before Allah. When the prophet (ﷺ)spoke against physical abuse against wives, he did not say: “do not beat your wife;” but rather he taught: “do not beat the female servants of Allah.” This word choice is intentional as it reminds us that if a husband engages in any abusive practice against his wife, he is not merely offending his wife but more significantly violating the rights of someone who belongs to Allah. Furthermore, the physical union of marriage is supposed to result in a spiritual and moral responsibility that would eliminate be any type of abuse or exploitation. In the context of forbidding financial abuse against wives, the Quran provides: “And how could you take it back after you were intimate with each other, and they have taken from you a tightly-woven covenant?” (Quran 4:21).

Marriage is not merely a contract between two partners before a court but more greatly a covenant to be solemnly honored before Allah.

What is interesting about the image of a tightly woven covenant is that it is the same phrase the Quran uses to describe the agreement between Allah and the prophets to deliver the Divine message to people. “And ˹remember˺ when We took a covenant from the prophets, as well as from you ˹O Prophet˺, and from Noah, Abraham, Moses, and Jesus, son of Mary. We did take a tightly woven covenant from ˹all of˺ them” (Quran 33:7). Therefore the same word used to refer to the sacred duty of delivering God’s message is used to refer to the spousal agreement to honor their marital relation before Allah. Therefore, this Quranic usage indicates that entering into a marital relation is a solemn journey that must be remain pure and sanctified

Given the Quranic view of marriage as a covenant, how would this Quranic image of marriage help us maintain and foster marital relations? There is no doubt that our thoughts and perceptions create feelings that drive our behavior. Thereby it is instructive to examine some of the perceptual implications of the phrase “tightly-woven covenant” and how they can createpositive marital behavior.

Ending the marital relationship for trivial or deceptive reasons is a clear violation of the spousal solemn covenant with Allah.

First, this covenant is ghaliz (tightly-woven)—a phrase that communicates to us the idea that marriages are originally meant to constitute life-long relations that are too strong to untie. Therefore, ending the marital relationship for trivial or deceptive reasons is a clear violation of the spousal solemn covenant with Allah.One could deceive a judicial system or a whole community, yet, one cannot deceive Allah Who is the All-hearing, the All-seeing. The Quran reads: “If they are determined to a divorce, [remember that] Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing” (Q. 2:227). These two divine attributes serve as a warning against deceit and lies.

Second, the word covenant is meant to be a binding agreement which indicates that each partner will be held accountable before Allah for any unfair or careless decision that relates to this solemn relation. Speaking about delivering and responding to the Divine message, the Quran asserts: “Indeed, We shall call to account those to whom the messengers were sent, and We shall call to account the messengers [themselves]” (Q. 7:6).Here we are informed that the prophets shall be questioned about their deliverance of God’s message due to the covenant God took from them. Similarly, spouses will be specially questioned about the marital violations as marriage was a covenant they took before Allah.

Third, the words covenant (mithaq) interestingly shares the same root with the word trust (thiqah). This semantic connection between covenant and trust indicates that the spiritual honoring of the marital relation will hopefully nurture more trust between spouses. This trust is the most important element for a healthy lifetime commitment. A simple reason for this connection is that the more you get closer to Allah, the more you get closer to each other. Getting closer to Allah will develop a healthy conscience that nurtures conjugal chastity and directsspouses to cultivate their relationship as a way of worship and honoring the Divine commands.

The shortest Quranic advice for a blessed marriage is JUST BE NICE!

Fourth, the concept of a covenant demands commitment. Every covenant has a number of terms that must be solemnly observed. So what is the marital covenant about from the Quranic perspective? The shortest Quranic advice for a blessed marriage is JUST BE NICE! The Quran advises husbands: “Live with them in accordance to what is mar’ruf (what is known to be good, fair and kind), and if you happen to dislike them, you may dislike something yet Allah turns it into a great blessing” (Q. 4:19).Instead of trying to dissect all the reasons why you are frustrated about the relation, try to be nice for few weeks and you will turn your marriage around. Instead of portraying a negative image of your spouse before your children, try to change your attitude toward your spouse and start recognizing the many good things he or she does. I remember reading a marriage book of more than 300 pages in less than a minute! That was not a miracle since each page had only two words on the top right corner ”be nice,” and the rest of the page was blank!

The Quranic commentators agree that this respectable and kind relationship reflected in the(Q. 4:19)is what the covenant is mainly about. In his commentary on this ayah (4:19), Imam Ibn Kathir explains that the elements of marital kindness are demonstrated through the following: “Saying good comforting words, displaying good considerate behavior and looking good as much as you could. As you wish her to look good for you, do the same for her since Allah says ‘Wives have [rights] similar to their [obligations], according to what is recognized to be fair” (Q. 2:228), and the prophet (ﷺ)says: ‘The best among you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best among you to my family.” This is a reminder that a thriving marriage requires nurturing so that it could grow over the years. For this reason, we need to see marriage as a garden that needs nurturing to grow and flourish, and this is what we will discuss in the next part inshallah.