A Prophetic Approach to Harmonious Relationships
In our society, we frequently discuss relationships and the challenges they present. Relationships can be complex, and our Nafs (ego) naturally seeks ease. Yet, this Dunya is not designed for comfort; it is filled with trials and difficulties. The only way to navigate these challenges is to embrace this reality and face problems head-on with a heart full of love for Allah and trust in His guidance. This shift in perspective is crucial: you are both the problem and the solution.
Many of the problems we encounter in our interactions stem from within ourselves, and we have the power to resolve them. However, a common obstacle is adopting a mindset that disables us—a sense of ‘ajz, or helplessness. Our beloved Prophet ﷺ advised us: “Be keen on your interests, don’t feel a sense of helplessness, and seek Allah’s help” (Sunan Ibn Majah). This teaches us to reject feelings of incapability. We cannot resign ourselves to merely complaining about our problems without striving to solve them.
Imagine how many of our issues could be resolved if we adopted a more prophetic approach in our interactions. Allah says in the Quran: “Say to My servants that they should (only) say those things that are best” (Quran 17:53). Shaytan often seeks to divide us—but how often do we open the door for him? The Prophet ﷺ taught us that negativity in our interactions, such as entering our homes with anger or failing to greet others warmly, creates an environment for Shaytan to sow discord.
Our Deen provides us with timeless guidance on the etiquette of communication (adab al-hiwar). Ask yourself: Are my conversations inspired by prophetic teachings? What obstacles stand in the way of a healthy relationship?
Content of Speech: The Prophet ﷺ warned against speech devoid of Allah’s remembrance or benefit. He said: “No people sit in a gathering without remembering Allah or sending blessings upon their Prophet, but that they will earn the displeasure of Allah” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi).
Negativity: Entering interactions with anger or negativity creates turmoil. The Prophet ﷺ encouraged us to be sources of peace and compassion. He said: “Shall I not tell you of something which, if you do it, you will love one another? Spread the greetings of Salam amongst yourselves” (Sunan Ibn Majah).
Exaggeration: Emotionally imbalanced responses—whether in praise or criticism—are harmful. The Prophet ﷺ praised virtues without exaggeration and avoided extreme reactions. As believers, we should avoid exaggeration, including in joking, as it can have a detrimental effect on our relationships and the tranquility of our hearts. The Prophet ﷺ said: “Do not laugh a lot. Much laughter kills the heart” (Sunan Ibn Majah).
Prioritizing Opinions Over Relationships: Valuing our opinions over our relationships leads to unnecessary conflicts. Many disputes can be prevented through the art of listening, which is emphasized in prophetic teachings. Notably, the Prophet ﷺ was not talkative; he spoke only when he had a valid reason.
Let us strive to embody the wisdom of the Prophet ﷺ in our relationships. By prioritizing principles over personal opinions, showing respect, and fostering compassion, we can overcome obstacles and build stronger, more meaningful connections.
May Allah make us among those who embody good manners and elevate our interactions.
Imam Basheer Abdeen